Test Results

I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. This belief has gotten me through a lot of tough times in life. So when Casey called today to let me know that the vet said Charley's cells were consistent with lymphoma, a big part of me already knew it. We go back to the vet tonight for more bloodwork, and then to the oncologist on Wednesday to see what we do next.

I'm not sure what this week will bring, but for some reason this all feels like it's supposed to happen right now. I can't really explain why I think that, I just do. Charley has been this intrigal part of our lives. He came at the best possible time, and although it was hard at first to have a whining puppy who would be at the vet off and on the entire first year we had him, mainly for eating things he shouldn't, I know that he's made my life so much better while he's been in it. I remember Casey and I fretting and wondering if we made the right decision just a few months after we got him, mainly because we had no idea vet bills could cost so much! We spent well over $1000 in the first year of his life with everything he had going on. But all of it was totally worth it, because he has brought so much joy to our lives over the last 6 years. He is definitely one of the most hilarious dogs I have ever met. He thinks he's human, and sometimes I think we believe it, too. I just can't believe he might not be with us much longer.

Sorry, my brain is pretty foggy right now and I'm not sure if any of this is coherent. All I know is that we're probably going to learn a lot in the next few days, and I'm a little scared about what that will be. He's here right now, and that's all that matters. I just hope we can make him as happy as possible and that he won't be in any pain, if we can help it. I feel so sad for the kids on our street... they love him so much. For some of them, this may be the first time they deal with something like this, and that makes me even more sad. I think about all the people at Petsmart that love this dog and will be affected by this, too. He's just such a wonderful guy that has touched so many lives. Anyone that ever says a dog is "just a dog" has never met one like Charley Brown. I'm sure there will probably be a lot more entries like this... as I've said before, he was my first 'kid', and as reality sets in I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories and pictures to post about the guy. I'll update more later when we find out details. For now, my heart just hurts. :(

Charley Brown

Today Casey took Charley Brown in to the vet for an on-going ear infection. It was his 2 week check-up and they were supposed to only check his ears, but luckily someone noticed that one of his back legs was swollen where the lymph nodes are located. We don't know what's going on yet because it will take a little while for the test results to come back, but the vet has reason to believe it could be Lymphoma, which is very common in Boxers. If so, we will not be able to put him through Chemo because the toxins in his urine can be very harmful to kids, not to mention the procedure is very expensive. In addition, I would not want him to live somewhere else while going through it, because that would all be tramatic for him. So if it is cancer... well... yeah.

I am trying to stay positive right now, but it is hard. Charley was my first 'kid'. He was the first puppy out the door to greet us when we went to the breeder to pick one out. He kept me sane when Casey was in Japan. He has licked my tears away, and kept my feet warm at night. He is my first dog and I doubt I will ever have a dog, or pet in general, that is more attentive, smart, and happy as Charley. Everyone that meets him (even a few cat lovers) end up liking him (minus all the licking!) because of his personality. We can take him almost anywhere and know that 1) he'll be on his best behavior, and 2) he'll get a lot of attention. When we take him to Petsmart to see 'his people', he has to greet everyone in the store. Most people there don't know our names, we are just "Charley's parents". Not sure if I would have it any other way.

I knew that someday I would have to come to terms with this, I just figured Keaton would be walking and talking by that point. I still picture Charley sitting under Keaton's high chair, waiting for food to drop. I see him helping Keaton learn how to walk. I see him really enjoying his own kid instead of borrowing all the neighborhood kids. It's hard not to feel guilty right now because I realize that for 11 weeks, Charley has been second string to Keaton, and I regret not spending more time with him when I could have... I will now because I'm reminded that nothing lasts forever and I don't want to waste anymore time if we don't have a lot left. I regret getting so upset with him when he would lick Keaton or get in the way when I was trying to do something. All I can do now, besides hope for the best, is try to make up for what I haven't done for him that last 3 months. He really has been the best friend a person could have- loyal, trustworthy, and always around when you need him.

Charley will turn 6 next Saturday. I really hope he lives to see many more birthdays, and that this is just a wake-up call for us and he gets through it. I'll keep the blog updated about him. Hopefully the next entry will be good news.

Love,

Charley Brown & Keaton's Mom