Moodiness and Peanut

Last night Casey and I decided to take Charley Brown to downtown Naperville because we heard that Quigley's Pub had a dog-friendly patio. So we packed the kid up and went down to check it out. The weather was perfect for eating outside, and apparently everyone else felt the same way... it was tough to scout out a table that was 1) out of the way (aka not right in the middle where Charley would be able to lick everyone and everything around us), and 2) not a high-top table where we would have a harder time keeping track of CB while we ate. The hardest part was looking for a table because there was no real order to the seating, so everyone had to fend for themselves. Case and I tried to be respectful of other people that were standing around waiting for someplace to sit before us, but another couple showed up that had already ordered drinks on the inside and then came outside to look for seat. I felt myself getting a little defensive toward them because I felt like we had more of a right to the next free table than they did, since we were there before them, and there were more of us. I find myself feeling a little bit more entitled these days than I probably should, but part of me thought, 'My pregnant butt has been standing around here for over 45 minutes looking for a spot- I think I have the right to sit down.' Maybe that's wrong. It feels wrong. Oh well. I luckily struck up a conversation with two guys that were seated near the front entrance where we were standing, and we managed to swoop in and get their table while the seats were still warm. I saw the other couple give us dirty looks, which was annoying since we were playing by the unspoken 'rules' and they weren't. Anyway, dinner ended up going well, and we met a lot of nice people that enjoyed Charley's company. I love taking Charley out in public because he's normally really well behaved and people seem to like him a lot. We only ran into a few people that seemed afraid of him.

My tolerance for people right now is rather low; I'm letting little things make me angrier than I should. Like last night after dinner when we walked around outside, some girl sees Charley and screams out, "Oh my God! DOG!!" in complete fear of him... I said, "He won't hurt you, I promise!" (and then "Idiot" under my breath)... I shouldn't' be like that. Not everyone likes dogs, and some people think Charley looks mean, etc. Maybe they had a bad experience growing up. I should be sensitive to that. Part of me felt like she just did it for attention, so I was annoyed. My fuse is so short right now... I pray it's just the hormones. I don't remember being this intolerant of people before. At work, I put up with quite a bit. I'm proud of myself for being patient. But when we go out in public these days, I sometimes find myself saying something louder than I normally would because I don't really care if someone else hears me. I have NEVER been that way. Casey surely wonders what is going on with me for being so 'catty'... I'm not proud of it, but sometimes I just don't care. That's terrible! Is it better that I at least realize that it's bad? I don't know. Too much going on in my head right now, I guess. It doesn't always have to make sense or be logical... and hell... most of the time it's not.

On a random note, I hear our mailman outside right now, which is notable. One day when our front door was open, I heard the mailman coming down the street. It's the consistent whirring noise of his engine slowing down and speeding up at each house that I can hear all the way down the block. Anyway, I knew he was coming, so I subconsciously listened for him to be outside the door so I would know when the mail had arrived. Then I hear the sound of metal being twisted- not like a car accident, but like something had been hit. By the time I got to look out the door, he was already down the street. I walked outside to get the mail, and realized that he had hit our mailbox with his jeep, and broken the hook that you pull to open it. Not really a big deal, since the box worked correctly... I just thought it was a little strange. I've made it a point to watch him now if I'm home and hear him coming down the street. He's unlike any mailman I've ever seen. He smokes a big ole stogie while he drives... it's always hanging out of the side of his mouth. And he is (maybe obviously) a little reckless when he's driving. He swerves around a lot. And he doesn't wear a uniform. Other than that, he seems like a perfectly normal mailman. Ha!

Here's another random bit of info for you... I am officially 4 months pregnant now! Every Friday I get an update on what is developing this week and what to expect in the near future, so the update this week raised my eyebrows when I read that the baby would double in weight over the next few weeks, and it is about the size of an avocado, apparently. Now I wish I would have bought the fruit or vegetable that they compare it to each week, and take a belly picture with that fruit to show what size it is supposed to be. If only I would have thought of that before... but hindsight really is 20/20. We're really looking forward to the 20 week ultrasound to see how much Peanut has developed!!! And I think that everyone is coming to terms with the fact that we are not going to find out if Peanut is a She-nut or He-nut. The nursery is neutral, and there are plenty of neutral things out there we can get before the baby is born. As long as it's not all ducks and teddy bears, I will be happy.

I should go now... I really need to head to Walmart but I'm putting that off as long as possible. :) If I'm good at anything in life, it sure is procrastination.

-Ash