Yesterday, Charley Brown's quality of life was just not where it should be. The poor guy had accidents all over the house, and didn't even have time to let us know he needed to go (which was unlike him). After awhile, he was going to the bathroom every 30 minutes, and he was starting to get dehydrated again. He wouldn't eat solid food anymore- we assume because his throat was sore where the lymph nodes were swelling again. For fear of seeing him the way he was Tuesday night, Casey and I decided that it would be best to end his suffering and ease his pain. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. He went peacefully and was surrounded by people that loved him. His regular vet, Dr. Tracy, came in on her day off just to be with us. We all sat on the floor with him, comforted him, and cried.
This house is so empty without him. Even recently when he wasn't moving around as much, he was still there. I could pet him and talk to him. I wondered what it would be like without him here, but because he was here, it was too easy not to fully grasp what that would be like. And now that he's gone... part of my heart is, too. I know I will heal, and I have a ton of amazing memories with him. I am so thankful he was a part of our lives. We were better people because of him. He taught us so many lessons in life- most of all that no matter how tough it is to let a pet go, it is worth all the pain just to have them in your lives for a short time. He was such a blessing and got me through some really tough times. He was always there to give you kisses and make you feel like the most important person on Earth.
Today is going to be tough, but I'm distracted with a bunch of errands and chores. I probably won't stay in the house very much today... it's just too hard. Luckily I am going home to Kansas this week, which couldn't be better timing, in my opinion. We will miss Casey while he's at a conference, but it will be nice to be distracted and home with my family.
I have so many more thoughts, but I don't have any more energy to write. I haven't gotten much sleep this week, so I should try now, if Mr. K allows it.
3 comments:
I'm in tears reading this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I never understood this till recently. Our dogs have been hard to deal with, with Mackenzie so we tried giving them away to a good family. I cried for a whole day and night and then we got a call that one wasnt getting along with one of their dogs. I think it was meant for them to come back. I feel so bad for even thinking about giving them away. I know that is not even close to what you're going through at all, but I do feel a bit of your pain as far as losing a pet. I never had a pet before, so this was a first for me. I'm so sorry Charley will no longer be with you guys, but hopefully he's in a better place. Hang in there. HUGS.
I'm so so sorry. It's so very hard to lose a loved one. Peace to you as your family learns to move day to day without your sweet pup.
-Abby
What a beautiful tribute to Mr Brown. He was an amazing dog and we will all miss him. Our thoughts are with you as you heal. Love you guys!
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