Unplugged

I have been MIA lately. In many ways, it seems. But things are getting better... I just spent 10 glorious days in Kansas with my family while Casey was at a conference for work. Originally, my father-in-law was supposed to fly Keaton, Charley Brown and I back home. Everyone wanted to spend time with Charley again one last time, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. I guess it may be fortunate for him that it didn't, actually, because I'm not really sure how he would have handled the ride. It was nice to be distracted for the week. Keaton got spoiled rotten, and I got to actually relax a bit. We really enjoyed our trip and it went way too fast. I obviously didn't get on the computer much while I was gone, which is why it's been 2 weeks since my last post. What a quick 2 weeks it's been.

I got to see quite a few people I wanted to see in Kansas... there are a few I could have seen more and a few I didn't get to see at all, but compared to most trips home, it was a lot less chaotic. That said, I am still exhausted. Keaton hasn't been sleeping well and did not sleep well in Kansas either, so that's been tough. We tried to let him 'Cry It Out' last night, but after almost 15 minutes of crying, he practically made himself sick. I rocked him to sleep, which worked until I laid him in the crib, then he was crying again. Now he's pulling the binky out of his mouth and getting ticked off about it... so I'm not sure what to do with the kid because he's doing it on his own. Nothing I can do will keep the binky in. All the moms on my street tell me he needs to get rid of the binky ASAP so it doesn't effect his teeth. So... not sure what to do in this situation.

I had my second meeting with my counselor on Tuesday night, the day after we got back from KS, which was great timing with all of the Charley events since I went last (the Tuesday before Charley passed away). I am really sad. I think about him all the time. Everything reminds me of him... little things like dropping food on the ground or seeing his toys in the back yard. Ugh. It is nice to have someone to talk to about it, because with the exception of the Friday before I went to Kansas, this has been the first time I've been home and actually dealing with the loss of Charley. Talking with the counselor did seem to help... it's just going to be a long process.

I guess that's about it for now. I am going to work on uploading pictures from our trip home and hope to include them soon. Keaton's growing like a weed, and I think he's pretty bored now that he doesn't have grandparents and aunts fawning over him anymore. :) So glad tomorrow's Friday and Casey will be home with us this weekend!

-Ash