One Month Old!

The last 4 weeks have been a complete and total blur for me. I can't even believe that the little kid in my lap right now (swaddled up and looking a bit like a burrito) is officially one month old. Amazing. And it's amazing how much I've learned, and how much more I have to learn about this little kid.

The newest obstacle has been difficult for me... he's been spitting up the last few days and hasn't really done that before now. Last night I was surprised he had anything left in his tummy judging by what came out, but he was content afterward and proved me wrong. His consistently wet diapers are proving me wrong, too. I read something that said that spit up may look like a lot when it comes out, but normally that's not all milk and they've normally eaten quite a bit more... so I feel a bit better about that in general. This morning he spit up after I fed him for only 10 minutes, so I decided to call the Pediatrician and see what might be wrong. She said that I should try holding him more upright when I feed him, try to burp him more frequently, and to have him sit upright for 30 minutes after he eats. She also said to judge by his cues- if he spits up after not eating very much, let him rest. If he acts hungry again, try to feed him, otherwise if he's content with his Binky or falls asleep, just let him be until he acts hungry again. I feel like I need a freaking 'For Dummies' book for this kid... I can't figure out the 'best' way to do anything sometimes! So I just keep trying different things until they seem to work. Now the trick will be remembering what those things are.

I still freak out anytime anything comes out of him. You'd think that after a month I would get used to that, but no. I just thought I got the hang of doing diaper changes that did not require a wardrobe change for either of us, but yesterday he sprung a leak all over me, the wall, the changing pad... etc. etc. etc. I had a pretty good streak going before that, though! It's tough because he wiggles all over the place, and half the time the clean diaper that I put underneath the dirty one gets scooted out from under him, and I get hit when I have to pick up his legs and put the clean one back under his butt... then it's like he knows my hand is there and BAM!! Then a long string of words come out of my mouth... I just know I'm going to teach him that and his first word is going to be terrible. (Please prove me wrong, kid!!)

So tonight our plan is to go out and celebrate Keaton's one month by having Japanese food!!! YAY!!!!! I have missed sushi so much, and according to the lactation consultant and various other sources, I can have sushi as long as I don't eat a ton of it. I think I'm still going to avoid tuna, though, considering it's high in Mercury and I don't want to take a chance. Living in Japan for four months definitely spoiled me as far as sushi goes, and of course I haven't tasted anything in the US that was remotely as good as Japan, but I crave it on a regular basis (even before being pregnant) so I'm really happy to be able to enjoy it again. :)

So looking back on the last month, I think I've felt just about every emotion one could feel. Overjoyed that he was here. Scared that I was going to screw up. Frustrated when he would cry and I didn't know how to fix him. Helpless when he would scream and nothing would console him. Surprised when he started getting the hang of feeding without any help, after 3 weeks. In love every time he would smile in his sleep. Enthralled when he started making eye contact, tracking objects, and responding to my voice. Terrified when he would spit up all over everything. Exhausted when my head would hit the pillow and he would start crying again. Sad for no reason at all. What a month!! All of it has been totally worth it. He still has that 'new baby smell' that I love. He makes the most hilarious noises almost all the time like grunting in his sleep, yelling at his Binky (while it's in his mouth), making this funny "huh uh" noise when I put the Binky in and he doesn't want it, often followed by shaking his head back and forth... little 'happy baby noises' right after he gets done eating, as if to say he's satisfied with his meal, often followed by a confused look, then a big wail when he realizes he isn't eating anymore... LOL! Seriously, I could go on forever, but I'll spare you. I will say once more, though, that this is the hardest but most rewarding job I've ever had.

Lastly, and randomly (as usual), I think we need to change his middle name to Houdini. Every time I swaddle him, knowing that I've definitely pinned his little arms down and gotten his feet inside, a little hand is sticking out the top, or a foot pokes out the bottom as soon as I close up the blanket. Never fails. He may be one of the wiggliest (is that a word? Spell check cleared it, so I guess it is...) kids I know. I should have known he'd be this way, judging by how much he moved in the womb. Now that he's definitely growing, he's getting more difficult to hold onto and I find myself having to readjust him all the time because he slides around. He's starting to cling on to me, though... hopefully that will help. I'm sure he's well over 8 lbs now... looks like I need to do some weight lifting to keep up!

Blah blah blah... that's enough from me for one day. Looking forward to going out tonight with my boys to celebrate one amazing month!

Love,

Ash