Cause & Effect

Every day I find myself amazed by Keaton. He is really starting to learn how things work and how to get what he wants on his own. Case in point: Last night while sitting in his high chair, he used his rattle to push his binky over so he could reach it with his other hand. Casey and I both witnessed it and were kind of in awe... it's too cool to see the wheels turning like that. That's not to say that he does it all the time or doesn't get a bit pissed when something doesn't work the way he wants it to. He was on his play mat during tummy time this morning, and while trying to grab a toy he pushed it farther away. After several attempts to get it back, he gave up and had a meltdown. Can't blame him, though... he's not a fan of tummy time to begin with, and then trying to manipulate objects and not yet having the ability to crawl just complicated it. Poor guy.

I have also learned a bit about cause and effect this week. My counselor Cindy made me realize that because I have so much guilt inside, I am holding myself back from really doing things and experiencing life. I have convinced myself that anything bad that happens to me is because I deserve it. Now I wonder all the things I could have done if I wouldn't have thought that way most of my life. But it's nice to see it now and hopefully keep it in mind so I can learn from it. I will again say that this counseling thing is going well, and I'm very glad I went through with it. I feel so much better about life already... and it's nice to have a 3rd party to talk things out with and try to get to the root of the problem.

I guess that's about all for today, just thought I would try to update a bit more while I can. I've also done better around the house the past 2 weeks (Casey can attest to this!)... I'm making lists and trying to stay more motivated. So far so good! Not perfect, but good. :)

-Ash