Stuck on Chuck

I feel sort of stuck the past few days. Almost like I've run out of steam and while the rest of the world keeps moving around me, I'm at a standstill. Keaton is getting more active every day, and I feel like the more energy he gets, the less I have. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how I'm going to get through the next phase of his life- when he starts getting mobile. We are right on the edge of it. He's rolling so much now that almost as soon as I lay him down on his back, he's flipped to his tummy. Now he's waving his arms and legs so much while on the floor that I'm sure he's just going to take off at any minute... luckily that part takes time, but I know he'll soon figure out that all he needs to do is dig in his knees and he'll be on his way. It's sad that you just get used to one thing with a child and they change everything up on you... but I know the next phase is going to be just as fun, if not more, than the first 6 months have been.

I really wish Charley was around for this part. He would have loved the mess I made in the kitchen yesterday while preparing bananas and pears for Keaton, and surely would have licked the floor clean for me. I can't believe it's been two months without him. I can't help but feel sad on the 24th of every month now, just thinking about life without him. It's weird, and I still look for him and expect to see his fuzzy face all the time. I try not to be sad, but sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I haven't cried in a long time, but seeing Charley's People at PetsMart on Saturday as well as the pretty Boxer just made things a little more real. I look forward to telling Keaton stories about Charley and showing him pictures and video when he's older, and eventually getting Keaton his own puppy... which will be a long time from now. No one can replace Chuck, though.

Well, that's enough of that. Mr. K is awake from his normal 30 minute nap, so it's time for him to eat some cereal and for us to get out of this house and enjoy the nice weather. I'll try for a less emo entry next time. :)

-Ash