For my kid.

Two blog entries in one day? Insane.

There are a few things recently that have bugged me but I have forgotten to blog about them. Or, I have forgotten that I've already blogged about them. Forgive me if that's the case. (My brain continues to be fuzzy...)

When my in-laws came to town a few weeks ago, I met them for lunch at a local restaurant. We were enjoying lunch when the server decided to serve coffee to my mother in law RIGHT above Keaton, who was asleep in his car seat. A vision of hot coffee scalding my kid flashed before my eyes, and I instantly got pissed and paranoid. I am happy to report that nothing was spilled on him, but it has made me a lot more aware of the situation. Servers continue to serve drinks and plates of food right over his head when we go out. We have tried moving the car seat over and out of the way, but sometimes they still do it (or there's no where else to move him), and it's taking all my will power not to get upset about it. I definitely don't want to be rude, but I'm almost to the point where I'm going to say something because I'm sure they don't even realize they are doing it and the potential damage that could be done if they spilled something on him. Part of me thinks it's better just to mention it to them- maybe pull them aside and say it so I don't embarrass them. (And maybe do it after I've gotten my food so no one spits in it!! Has anyone seen the movie 'Waiting'??) It just bugs me, and I'm at a point where the next time it happens, I may not be as calm as I would like to be, so I think I will 1) try to strategically place Keaton in a spot where we don't have to worry about this, if at all possible, and 2) say something to them and ease my worry. Who knows, it could help them out in the long run. Sorry, just had to get that out. All I know is that if anyone spills something on him and he gets hurt, I will sue them in a millisecond. For the record.

Something else I've noticed about being a parent is that I put myself in the place of the people on TV who have had something terrible happen to their child. I did this before Keaton came along, but it feels a lot different when you have a kid of your own. Now any time there's a child abduction, or drowning, etc., I think of what that must be like... I can't imagine anything happening to Keaton. Hell, it hurts me just to see him get shots! I feel so deeply for this little kid that even when his tummy hurts and he's fussy, it hurts me, too. It's tough to be a parent. People tell me you'll continue to worry until their 18, but I know I'm in this for the rest of our lives together... I worry all the time anyway, so I might as well put all the worry to good use, for my kid. :)

The other night we were chatting with our neighbor Rob (who has 4 little girls!) and he mentioned that he would go in and check on them when they were sleeping just to make sure they were breathing. I felt a huge relief as I do this every time Keaton's sleeping, so I'm glad I'm not alone. In fact, I hear a lot of parents do this. I'm fairly certain that part of it is because it's my first child and I am hyper paranoid (but again, I was like this before he came along)... but I would rather be that way than have something happen to him and regret it for the rest of my life. I know somewhere down the line I will make a mistake (and have already) so I'm not saying that I plan on having a perfect parent/child relationship... I also don't want to be so paranoid that I don't let him try new things. I just want to make the types of decisions that I can look back on and be proud of, because it's something I haven't done very well before being a parent, and it feels much more important with him than it ever did for just me. I don't even know if this is making sense at this point- bottom line is, I've become more nervous/paranoid as a parent, and while I didn't have much more of that to go before I am probably in need of a therapist, I think it's worth it if it's for my kid.

That's all for now- I just felt like writing something other than the 'what we did today' sort of entries for once. Back to watching my kid smile in his sleep...