One Year Ago...

Excerpt from my blog one year ago today:

It's hard to believe this is the last day of the year. 2009 has been a good one, and I'm really looking forward to 2010. I have no idea what kinds of things I will be able to say this time next year, but I should have a little kid toddling around a year from now. I wonder what they will look and act like. I wonder if I'll be back in school yet. I wonder if I'll miss working, or will be fully enjoying Mommyhood and not thinking twice about a paycheck. I wonder what Casey will be doing at BP this time next year. I wonder if Charley will enjoy having a toddler around (and I would imagine so, since that will mean that more food ends up on the floor for him to eat!). Crazy to know that I'm right on the edge of a year full of change. I think I'm starting to actually be ready for it.

 I can now say that I do indeed have a little kid toddling around now, which is crazy. He looks and acts just like his Daddy in a lot of ways (but has my facial expressions, which is pretty entertaining at times!). I am not back in school yet, and while I think about going back, I am not quite ready yet. I don't miss working much at all. I do think about paychecks sometimes, but only occasionally. Casey and BP are still in a relationship, and I think it's still a good one, so no complaints there- even with the year the company has had. It hasn't been easy for him, even though he doesn't work directly with everything that happened in the Gulf. Work keeps him busy, and stressed, but he seems to be handling it well. I am very proud of him for how hard he works to make sure I can stay home with Keaton and that we are all taken care of... he really works his tail off, and always has.

So I read that paragraph from one year ago, and of course the biggest thing missing is Charley Brown. I don't know how many times I've written about how much he would love this time in Keaton's life, but I'm 110% sure of it. I still picture him sitting under Keaton's high chair, waiting for food to fall. They both would have loved that. I can see Charley standing by Keaton as he learns to walk. Maybe it's just Charley's spirit that's here with me, reminding me of what life would be like if Lymphoma had not come reared its ugly head. I don't mean to torture myself, I just imagine what could have been. But now I look on to 2011, and all of the questions and unknowns that it brings. I had a pretty good idea of how things would look now, but next year is a mystery. Keaton will be almost 2. We may or may not have a new dog. We may or may not be living in Plainfield. Who knows?

I do know that 2010 was the most incredible, emotional, life-changing year of my life, and I look forward to what's to come.

-Ash

Crawling, Teeth, and Christmas

Well, I really slacked this month. I hate doing "catch up" blogs, but the last week or so has been significant. I'll try to give you the highlights...

Keaton started crawling on Friday, December 17th, and has been inch-worming himself around ever since. He didn't get much practice while we were in Topeka, but he got a lot of practice walking with various family members. He prefers to stand now and gets ticked when we sit him down. If he has something to stand up against it's fine, but when he wants to stand up against me, it really wears me out! Probably because he loves to bounce when he stands, too... man. Fun things to come... I think.

He's on his 5th tooth now. It's super close to breaking through, and he's been really fussy today, so I wouldn't doubt that it'll break the skin by this evening. Five teeth since September. The kid's been busy!

Christmas was great, but it went way too fast. On our way to Topeka, right before the state line between IL and MO, we hit a coyote. It ran out in front of the car, and although Casey tried to avoid it, it hit my right front tire and ended up spinning around in the tire guard (which completely broke off the car), killing it. Thankfully it didn't kill our car and we were able to keep going, but it cost over $1300 to get fixed when we were in Topeka, and we had to borrow vehicles from our families to get around. Luckily we had nice weather- it was in the 30s and 40s all week, so we avoided the junk we had last Christmas. At least we didn't get the blizzard that the East coast got recently! We really lucked out.

Keaton THOROUGHLY enjoyed Christmas. He especially liked the gift tags and bows, and ripping off the wrapping paper. He has so many toys now, I think we should start adding a room to the house just for his stuff. He racked up, though... clothes, tons of toys, books... not bad at all for his first Christmas! We got to see the majority of both families, but of course we could have used a few more days to see everyone we wanted to. As usual, our schedule was pretty packed, and I tried to take naps whenever Keaton did so I could get through it all. I think that worked, for the most part. Casey was great and would take Keaton around 6 in the morning and allow me to sleep a little longer, especially when Keaton didn't sleep well at night. It happened a few times and I was always thankful for the extra sleep.

Casey and I had a great Christmas, too. He got me a wide-angle lens for my camera, which we put to good use during our time in T-town. We also got a waterproof digital camera that's small, and I look forward to using that at swimming lessons! Casey got some equipment for his computer which he wanted, and is now busy trying to upgrade our home computer (I donated some money to him, too, so he could get a few extra things he wants and because I had no idea what to get him this year... I don't really understand much of what he talks about when it comes to computers, but he's excited about it, and that's all that matters to me!)

Other highlights of the trip include: Seeing my Dad in White Christmas.. he did a terrific job!! He said he only had a few lines, but he really stole the show. I am really glad the held the show over so we were able to see him- it was definitely worth it. Great job, Pops!!

I also saw family members this year that I don't normally see, which was a nice change from the norm. We went to my cousin's house in Lawrence on Monday night, and Keaton was the center of attention. He loved playing with his older cousin Miles, and I have funny video of Keaton basically tackling Miles and cuddling with him. He loved flirting with Ashlynn and Christy, and enjoyed taking pictures of himself with Ashlynn's iPhone. On Wednesday I got to see my cousin Jessika and meet her 3 children! The oldest was still in the womb when I saw Jess last, at our wedding... now she's six! Time goes too fast. I really enjoyed spending time with the kids, and Keaton loved all the attention. He loved it so much, in fact, that he decided to start SCREAMING when he wasn't happy about something. As I predicted, that behavior has gone away now that we're home. I was getting a little worried- I'm not really sure how to handle that type of behavior right now! How do you discipline a 10 month old? Advice is welcome.

Hmmm...what else. I got to see my girls Sara and Lindsey, have lunch with Jeremy, and saw Kyle and his family as well! It was a nice, brief trip home, and it's hard to believe we've been back for 2.5 days already. Back to the snow... back to the grind. Although I'm tired, I wish we could have stayed home longer. Oh well, there's always next time.

That's all I have the energy to write about right now. Keaton's napping and I think I might, too. Again. :)

Hetrick Family Christmas, 2010

-Ash

Fussy Pants

I have been so MIA this week!! Hmmm... how to summarize... I always struggle with that.

Work went okay last Friday. It didn't end the greatest, but that's okay. I left pretty stressed about something I wasn't sure of that was left behind, but I haven't gotten any phone calls telling me I did it wrong, so... I assume everything is fine.

Saturday we went to Bass Pro Shop to get pictures with Santa. After walking around a bit (Keaton was napping) we realized that we had to get a ticket to get in the picture line. Long story short, we were at BPS for about 2.5 hours. Someone 'promised' us we would be in to get a pic with Mr. Claus by 11:30 a.m., but we didn't end up seeing him until around 12:15 p.m.. Here is the result:

Sunday... I'm drawing a blank.

Monday our Christmas cards arrived. And Keaton was a fussy guy most of the morning.

Tuesday... worked on Christmas cards, and dealt with a fussy guy again. He took a one hour nap in the morning, and a two hour nap in the afternoon! I was so surprised, I kept going back in his room to check and make sure he was okay. Of course he did NOT sleep well that night... he woke up at 11:30 p.m. and would not go back to sleep. We slept out on the couch until around 4:30 Wednesday morning when Casey got up for work. He offered to stay up with Keaton for a few hours to allow me to sleep, which was glorious. We went to Keaton's final swimming lesson that morning and got his certificate of completion! Yay! He also got to ride in a little canoe that the swimming instructor brought, which he really enjoyed. Hopefully we'll get in the same class next session so he can swim with Blaine and A.J. again... he really liked them a lot. He was better in the afternoon, from what I remember, but I kept in mind that even my swimming instructor noticed he was pulling on his ears a bit.

Thursday we went mall walking in the morning, then I drove around awhile to let Keaton nap. We ran some errands and got quite a few things done. I spent most of the afternoon working on Christmas cards. Again, Keaton was fussy for large chucks of the day.

That brings me to today. He woke up at 1, 3, and 5:30 this morning. He didn't go back to sleep until around 8:30, and then it wasn't for long, so I called the Pediatrician to make an appointment and see if his problem is just teething, or if he's got an ear infection. He's just been really moody lately, and I would rather know what's going on, especially before we go to Kansas this weekend! Hopefully it works out okay... I'll try to update later before another week passes without posting.

Some new things this week: Keaton can High 5. He's working hard at the Army crawl. He's sort of pulling up on things (something he hasn't done much of yet) and he's still rolling around everywhere. He can turn off a light switch now, has tried Saltine crackers and arrowroot cookies, and loves to grab a blanket (or the shower curtain) and play peek-a-boo. He can 'monster growl' on demand now. Hopefully I'm not forgetting anything else. I was just interrupted as he pushed himself forward on the carpet to get his binky... he's getting closer and closer to crawling!! We might hit the Crawling by Christmas deadline after all!!

-Ash

Separation Anxiety... the adult version.

No... not *that* kind of adult version.

Even though I 'quit' my job, I agreed to fill in tomorrow from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. while the agents have their Holiday Party. I am already a ball of anxiety, mainly because I will not see Keaton all day long, and by the time I get home, he'll be ready for bed.

Part of me is sad, but Casey put it into perspective for me tonight: He sees Keaton even less than that on week days. I know he will be in good hands, and I'm not really even worried about that- I'm more worried that he will be super fussy (like he was the past 2 days!). He's so used to having me around- hopefully he doesn't have stranger anxiety... but he sees Kelley at least once a week, so I don't think he will. Still, I can't help but feel a little lost. I have a feeling I'll be busy enough at work that I will not have to think about it much- or at least I hope that will be the case so I can focus. I know the minute I start missing him, it'll be hard not to think about him and the day will drag on and on. See... this is the reason why I'm not at all ready to go back to work anytime soon.

In other news, Keaton attempted to crawl today. The last 2 days, he's been stretching out more when I lay something in front of him that is just out of his reach. He's getting SOOO close... I still think he'll have caught on by the time Christmas rolls around. He is hanging out with older kids the past 2 weeks, and I can see a difference in him- he really likes to watch them, and is a little more outgoing when we get home. Today he saw a toy he wanted to play with while he was standing, and attempted to walk toward it. He's still wobbly, but if we hold his hands, he puts one foot in front of the other pretty well now. He is starting to be better at standing by himself, too.

Another funny thing he has done the past few days is shake his head 'no'. The funniest part (that I have yet to get on video) is when he is babbling to himself, and then shakes his head and sometimes lets out a little sigh! It is too funny... I love listening to the little conversations he has with himself. I will try to get it on camera- the problem is, he's distracted every time I turn the camera on, so I have to be sly about it. What a funny little guy we have. :-D

Anyway, I'm going to attempt to calm down now and get some sleep soon. While I will miss him tomorrow, I'm sure he will be okay, and it will be good for me to get out for a day. I think it'll probably be good for him, too.

-Ash

Snow and Santa

Chicagoland received 3-6 inches of snow overnight last night. We were supposed to drive down to Urbana-Champaign to see friends today and watch the USC game, but Mother Nature decided to curb our plans. Instead, our friends Tim and Kelley, who live on the street behind ours, invited us over for dinner. We had time to kill until dinner at 4, so we decided to take Keaton outside to experience snow for the first time. I'm not sure how he felt about it... he did well while we were holding him, but bawled when we sat him down by himself. He also tasted it, and was NOT happy with the result.

After playing outside, Keaton was super sleepy and took a 1.5 hour nap... the second long nap he took today. (He's either feeling better teething-wise, or going through another growth spurt! If the longer naps could be more of a habit, though, that would be WONDERFUL!) Meanwhile, Casey and I decided to try our hand at making french fries (which was fun, and they turned out well!). We ate lunch, and then Keaton woke up and we played inside and watched the USC game until it was time to go to Tim & Kelley's for dinner. Keaton got to play with his friend Nolan, and another boy named Nicholas, so by the time dinner was over (and the game, which was not so great), Keaton was exhausted. We brought him home, and he barely made it through 'dinner' before passing out. In all, it was a pretty fun day, considering we were basically stuck at home.

I should also mention that Keaton got to meet Santa for the first time yesterday! I started mall-walking with some other Moms on Thursday, and we found out that Friday there would be free breakfast with Santa. He did great, and didn't cry! He stared more at Mrs. Claus, though, who had a shimmery dress on that was a bit more interesting for him. I think we'll probably take him once more so Casey can go with us and we can get more pictures. Here's one from the mall:

I guess that's all for now! So far it's been a nice first half of the weekend. And it's stopped snowing. Woo hoo!

-Ash