What it is...

3:30 a.m.: Dog wakes up. Luckily he goes right back to sleep, so I try to do the same.
4:30 a.m.: Drifting back to sleep when BAM! Thunderstorm rolls through. Casey's alarm goes off.
5:30 a.m.: I swear I am just starting to dream and I hear this scream, then feet running, then a door slamming. Keaton is running down the hallway and toward the kitchen, yelling, "I want a jelly sandwich!!!!"

I manage to get Keaton calmed down and persuade him (through a very long string of arguments) to lay down in my bed and watch some Mickey or George. This works for about 15 minutes, then the dog wakes up and starts crying. Keaton gets him out, and asks for a jelly sandwich again. He has been in a very independent mood lately, which is fine, but he started demanding to get the ladder out by himself and help make the sandwich. After some explanation, I informed him that the ladder is too big for him and that I needed to get it out so he didn't get hurt. He gets mad, runs over to it and tries to pull it out by himself. He just didn't seem to take no for an answer, and he was about to hurt himself, so I sent him to his room. Meltdown ensues. I decide to give him some time to cool down, so I come out and make a bowl of cereal. Just then, Keaton comes out of his room, half naked, in protest of being in timeout. I put my bowl on the table and run over to Keaton, and Riese jumps up on the table and knocks my cereal off, onto the table and chair, and all over the floor. I look at the clock- it's 6:30. At this rate in the day, I am terrified of what 7:30 will hold.

We met up with a friend for breakfast, which got Keaton in better spirits. Then we made it home, played with Riese, and everyone took a nap. I think that helped a bit. But we just got back from a chaotic trip to Petsmart (they tend to be when I have both boys because they are going in two different directions) and then Riese peed on the floor. Trying to clean up pee and keep a 2 year old from either stepping in it or 'helping' clean up is a chore in itself! I think I need another nap.

I promise all my posts aren't going to be complaints about how crazy life is right now and how I'm overwhelmed. Is there a way to be 'whelmed'? Because I'm kind of tired of being OVERwhelmed so much of the time. Tomorrow will be a better day, because we get to pack for our short trip to Kansas! That's gotta make things at least a little better!

-Ash

Please forgive me.

Terrible twos, in full effect! I need a place to vent. Or that padded room I've been dreaming of building in our basement. Please note, I am venting. Sometimes we just need to let it out so we don't go to the other kind of padded room, you know?

Keaton always has a bad day after family has been here to visit, and this time is no exception. Today he has been in an exceptionally terrible mood. He's hit me, pushed me, taken things out of the trashcan and thrown them. He really likes to argue, and has said the opposite of almost everything I've said today. Example? "Keaton, you are not being nice to Mommy right now." "I being nice to Mommy." Riiiight. So I stopped talking to him because I was tired of hearing him say the reverse of whatever I said. Once, he was crying, and I wiped his nose. He grabbed the tissue from my hand and tried to put the snot back on his face! He wants everything to go his way, no matter what it is. If I sit instead of stand, he is pulling me down to sit. If I move my hand, he tries to put it back where it was.

This is normally stemmed from either something that didn't go his way, or he's tired, or he's hungry. I'm at a loss. I really miss my sweet little boy that I still see glimpses of. I keep thinking that it's just a phase. Sometimes I also feel like I'm talking to a wall, or that talking at all is pointless.

Sorry again, but venting/writing is about the only way I can get this out. I'm losing my cool with him, and I don't want to. I look forward to the day when I can look back and think, "I survived the terrible twos!" (Someone should make that a t-shirt or something.) Right now, that day can't come soon enough.

-Ash

Messy Monday

Every time I've thought about catching up on the blog, I got distracted by... life. I know I'm missing out on a lot of details here, but here was my Monday for you: Keaton had tummy trouble in the morning, and he's been coughing and sneezing a lot, along with mood swings and some crud in his eye. I took him to the doctor, only to find out that he was "just fine" and maybe had some allergies. Not even 15 minutes after I got him home from the doctor, he threw up all over me. Three times. And then it was over, and he was fine- but the aftermath was not an easy clean-up! Three of the dry-clean only couch covers are out of commission until Saturday. No one is allowed to get sick on our couch again, ever. And thank you, IKEA... you could have made washable covers, one would think! Whaaa whaaaa... lesson learned. We determined that it was something Keaton ate, and he's been fine ever since, thankfully. I am going to be a lousy parent at this rate when he gets the stomach flu... yikes! I don't do well with bodily fluids, apparently!

Monday night, Keaton was playing at a neighbor's house, when he tripped and fell on their driveway. He bumped his head and lip pretty hard, and I am sad to say that I had to scrape asphalt off his front tooth! We put ice on all of it and it seemed to help a lot. Poor little boy. I'm glad it wasn't worse, because he could have easily knocked his tooth out. He's healing well... so thankful for that!!

So to summarize, life has been busy. The dog is getting huge (over 17 pounds now). Casey is busy and stressed with work. I am busy and usually stressed with the dog/child combo. But we are making it through. Keaton's still doing great in school and with potty training. He may be taking a bit too long to actually GO to the bathroom (it was almost 45 minutes in the bathroom the other night because he wouldn't do his business). I'm trying to motivate him in different ways, but so far not much is working. This too shall pass, right? :)

Time to make the house somewhat liveable again... if the dog will allow it!

-Ash

Catching Up

Kansas, I miss you already. Minus the chigger bites and ticks. And 100 degree weather. Other than that, though... there really is no place like home.

Leslie and Mitch's wedding was a lot of fun. Keaton didn't do so great during the pictures, but he did walk down the aisle (a little late) and was quiet during the ceremony. He lost it when Casey and I picked him up and walked back down the aisle because he just wanted his "Nana" De and no one else. Luckily he did better at the reception, and he ended up dancing his little booty off. He didn't want to stop! When Leslie and Mitch were supposed to have their first dance together, Keaton took off and ran in circles around them. We couldn't get him to stop. He was a dancing machine.

For Kyle's wedding, he was much better all the way around. He made it down the aisle, sat with us during the ceremony, and then went back down the aisle with the flower girl, Sydney, and waved at everyone like a little celebrity. :) He again ran circles around the bride and groom, and this time danced for 2 straight hours. All I could do was run out with a sippy cup of water and try to keep him hydrated. He wouldn't dance with anyone else, just bopped around by himself. He did attempt to do 'the worm' after he saw another guy do it. It was a fun night with friends and family. I think it's safe to say we all danced our booties off.

*****

Well, I started this blog entry about 2 weeks ago, and now I'm trying desperately to remember what's happened since then. My parents are on their way back to Kansas after another successful trip to Illinois. Casey is in Greece until Friday morning, so it was nice having them here to keep me sane. I hope I can keep it together for the next 3.5 days.

The past few days have been really hard. There have been moments of bliss, and moments of completely disarray. I feel like Keaton has these huge waves of emotion that will wash over him and almost drown the both of us. He's started hitting, pushing, kicking, etc., when he is in a 'mood'. Not fun, at all. Exhausting, actually. Yesterday he had two meltdowns which lasted at least 35 minutes a piece, and had another 30 minute one this morning. I have tried so many different approaches to them, and none of them work consistently. So I guess we are 110% into the Terrible Two stage now. People keep telling me I will miss this stage, but I don't see how I could miss a crying session that lasts the better part of an hour. I know, someday he will not be here and I will miss any kind of interaction with him. I know that will be hard, in a different way. But for now, I miss my sweet little boy. I see glimpses of him now and then, but when the bad mood strikes, nothing seems to calm him down. Breathe, Mommy... breathe.

Casey's had a bad connection almost every time he's tried to call from Greece, so we haven't gotten to talk very much. I'm sure that part doesn't really help how the past few days have gone. I knew today would be tough, and so far we're getting through it pretty well. Both the boys are sleeping right now, so I have a moment to clear my head. (Sigh.)

I want to end on a happier note: There are a few moments that I don't want to forget that have happened over the last few days. 1) I love it when Keaton says, "You wanna play with me, Mommy?" (How the heck do you say no to that??) 2) Keaton asked us all to hold hands the other night at the dinner table to say a prayer. We only usually pray when we say grace with Casey's family, so it was cute to see that he remembered. 3) We had a fun time playing outside yesterday in the cooler, less humid weather. Mom, Dad and I all took turns catching Keaton's new foam airplane. We would say, "Are you ready?" before each person caught it, in order to teach Keaton how to give people a heads up when he's playing with them. I think he really enjoyed it... and so did I. :) Keaton has also started giving me extra kisses when I tuck him in. I will be half-way out the door and he'll say, "Mommy, I wanna say night night and give kiss!" So I go back to his bed and he kisses me once on the mouth, and once on the cheek. So sweet. I need to remember this stuff when I'm completely overwhelmed by the TERRIBLE TWOS!

-Ash

UM... I kind of forgot to mention that we have gone one week now in "big boy undies" and he's getting down to only one accident each day! He wears a diaper when he sleeps. He's doing awesome! I'm really proud of him, and I think he's pretty proud of himself. Little man is growing up!!