Kiddisms

Nik and Rowan are seriously cracking me up these days. Here are some funnies from our littlest dudes.
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Nik: "I here to help!"

Me: "Nik wants to be called 'Niky'. I like 'Niko'."
Rowan: "I like Niko, too."
Nik: "I like Rowan!"

"I watch dat movie when I was kid." LOL... he says 'when I was kid' all the time now because I laughed so hard the first time!
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Rowan: "Darth Vader likes Phil Collins."

Me, to Keaton, "Have a good day!"
K: "You too!"
Rowan: "U2 is music!"

Rowan, picking his nose... as usual.
"Mommy, I have a booger."
Me: "Ooookaaay... would you like me to get a Kleenex?"
Ro: "Yeah. I don't wanna eat it in my mouth."

Keatonisms

Me: "I'm sorry if I haven't been very fun lately."
K: "You're always fun! Even if you don't feel like you are, I always have fun with you." 💜

"I can't show you how much I love you because my arms aren't long enough."

Looking at the red inflatable tube-like balloon with a face that waves around, used for advertising at the local mattress store:
Me: "Hey, the red dancing guy is out again!"
K, annoyed: "Why do they wanna sell so many mattresses?!?"

Honeymoon

It's Keatonism Tuesday again!
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Keaton, to me: "How about we go to the mall so me and my brothers can play? Then you can sit down and rest. You look pretty tired."

"A honeymoon is when you get a moon and we get honey and then we polish the moon with honey."

I got my Tae Kwon Do uniform today. I said to Keaton, "I got a uniform! I guess I'm legit now!"
Keaton: "You're the legitest."

Bob Ross

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!

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Me: "Time for pajamas."
Keaton: "Amen."

Me: "She's probably about ten years older than me."
K: (Long pause....)  "So she's like 100?"

"Mommy, I'm going to entertain my brothers so you can wash the dishes and rest and be by yourself."

"I love you 150%. And I don't love you 0%."

"Mommy, can you keep an eye on Snoopy? He has a fever. Sometimes he goes crazy."
Me: "What do I do if he goes crazy?"
K: "Just sing him a song."

K: "Mommy, when I go to school, will you put this toy back in my room for me?"
Me: "Sure."
K: "Okay. Just say it over and over in your head so you don't forget."

"Daddy, are speaking Sponge Bob?"

"What if Bob Ross was a Sponge, and then he dipped himself in paint and then painted? What if he cutted all of his hair off and then put an elastic band around it and painted with it?"

Rowanisms

There are only Rowanisms this week... One of these days maybe he'll let Nik talk!
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"I want ketchup on my pancakes."

"Mommy, please leave me malone."

"Mommy, Daddy is funny. And Nik and Baba Keaton is funny. You no is funny."

Parachutes

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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Keaton said something I was thinking.
Me: "How did you know that?"
K: "I can read inside your mind." *Spooky*

Keaton was smacking at some dust floating in the sun beams.
K: "Mommy, what is the stuff floating around? Maybe it's germs."
Me: "You can't normally see germs floating around... "
K: "Maybe it's the germs' parachutes."

Isms.

There weren't any Keatonisms this week (I'm certain I just missed them) but there are two from the twins that were worth sharing!
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Nik: "Fireworks tickles my heart."

Rowan: "My heart needs coffee. And my tummy needs coffee. And my mouth needs coffee."

Twinisms

Twinisms!!
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Rowan:
(Talking to his Curious George toy): "It okay, George toy. I hold you. "

"Nice eyes, Mommy!"

"Bye bye! Thanks a playing with me!" (to our neighbor Emily).

"1,2,3,4...ready for not, here I come!"

"Nik, you's a nice guy."

"Green beans help my ears."
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Nik: "Mommy, nice Blackhawks shirt pick out!"

"I wake up Rowan? Hi Rowan, baby! "

Quoting Big Hero 6: "Hey-whoa. I Baymax, personal health-care 'panion."

Conversation I overheard this morning...
Nik: "I scared."
Rowan: "What you scared of, Nik? Rowan hold you."
Nik: "Yeah, Rowan hug Nik."
Rowan: "Okay." (Hugs him). "Mommy! Rowan hug Nik!"
Nik: "No I scared, Mommy. Rowan hold Nik."

"I was made to be silly."

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, friends! He was on a roll last week!
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Keaton: "Mommy, do you know what cows would say if they were backwards?"
Me: "What would they say?"
K: "Oooom!"

Keaton saw a cherry pie on the counter. "What's that? It looks like a real pie! Like they make on TV!"

"When it sprinkles, it's just God spitting."

Me: "So why is Darth Vader your favorite?"
K: "I was born that way."

After painting ceramics: "I'm like a real artist now."

"If everything was vanilla and strawberry then I would eat the whole earth."

"I was made to be silly."

Women don't snore.

It's Keatonism Tuesday! Enjoy!
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"Did you know, if you eat dog biscuits, it's really bad for you."

Me: "Your smile is just like Nik's."
K: "Oh, well then we must be brothers of smiling!"

"Women don't snore."

I'm behind!

Ummm... Is it Tuesday night? Yikes. Sorry... Here are your Keatonisms for the week!
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The twins were loud and fussy one morning. Okay, most mornings.
Me: "I wonder why your brothers are so grumpy in the morning."
K: "Because they're Hetricks."

I dropped a picture of Keaton.
Me: "Oops! I dropped you."
K: "If you really would've did it, I woulda broke my head off."

Keaton questionnaire

Keatonism Tuesday is here again! The second part is from the little questionnaire that's going around... He was very serious about it! I asked him the same questions about his daddy, so answer A is for me, B is for Casey.
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Keaton, to me: "When you were little, were there colors?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
K: "I mean, was everything in black and white?"
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1. What is something mom always says to you?
A) That you love me.
B) He loves me.

2. What makes mom happy?
A) When I do what you want me to do.
B) When we listen to him.

3. What makes mom sad?
A) When I don't listen to you.
B) When we don't listen to him.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
A) I think how you tickle me and how you rub my arm and when you tackle us and when I tackle you.
B) Tickling me in the armpit.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
A)I don't know. Doing art projects with your mom.
B) I think he was like me.

6. How old is your mom?
A) 33
B) 34. Do that in numbers 3-4, please.

7. How tall is your mom?
A) A little tall
B) Very tall.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
A) Play with us
B) Playing with us

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
A) Go on dates or nap
B) Go on dates with you.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
A) Because of me
B) Me

11. What is your mom really good at?
A)Taking care of us
B) Fixing things

12. What is your mom not very good at? A) Not taking care of us
B) Putting play Doh in his mouth (LOL...Wha...?)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
A) Helping my brothers
B) Going to BP and making gas better

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
A) Bananas. Just tricking you. Banana pie. (I'm actually not a fan of bananas... Lol)
B) Chocolate with peanut butter

15.What makes you proud of your mom? A) How pretty you are.
B) Because he was famous for making gas

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?
A) Princess Leia
B) Darth Vader

17. What do you and your mom do together?
A) Play with my brothers
B) Play

18. How are you and your mom the same?
A) How our blood is
B) Because we are both boys

19. How are you and your mom different? A) Because I'm a boy and you're a girl
B) Because he was born in Kansas and I was born in Illinois

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
A) Because she's my mom
B) Because he's my daddy and daddies always love their moms and their kids.

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
A) Kansas
B) Kansas, just like yours.

22. How old was your Mom when you were born?
A) 22
B) 34 take away five. 28.

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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"Do frogs eat bees? Because if they poop they would sting somebody."

"That's a pretty handsome car!" (Sporty purple Pontiac)

We were listening to Undone - The Sweater Song by Weezer. For those who don't know the song, the chorus is :

"If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor (lying on the floor)
I've come undone"

Keaton listened to this, thought for a second, and said, " He wouldn't be naked because he'd have pants on." Love this little smarty pants!

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday! Yesterday as I was helping Rowan get ready to leave, Keaton was busy helping Nik get his socks on... Voluntarily! He's such as sweet big brother!
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Nik put a bracelet on top of his head.
K: "You're King Nikolaus of Naperville".

To me, because he wanted to tickle me: "Can you please lift your armpits up?"

We were going through the map of the U.S., and I was quizzing him. He was having trouble remembering Wyoming.
Me: "This one sounds like it's asking a question... Why...?"
K: "Why-daho?"

My favorite local radio station is 101 WKQX. Thursday, Keaton had a fever.
Me: "Your temperature is 101."
K: "WKQX?"

K: "May the Ninja Turtles be with you."

Twinsday Wednesday

I haven't done Twinsday Wednesday in awhile, but here's a small compilation for you!
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Me: "Nik, did you go poo poo?"
Pointing at R2D2: "Nope. R2 poo poo."

Nik, talking about a Ninja Turtle toy that wasn't working: "Mommy, turtle power broke."

Nik: "Please, onion hat?" (Minion hat)

Me: "Do you guys wanna see the chipmunk?"
Nik: "Please see chip-monkey?"

Me, to Nik: "Do you have the hiccups?"
Nik: "No he-pucks!"

Nik: "Nik so happy!"
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Rowan, watching Snoopy cry on TV: "Oh, gosh! Snoopy!"

Rowan started flapping his arms up and down.
Me - "Are you a bird?"
Rowan, shaking his head no: "Pterodactyl."

Keaton was pushing Rowan in the rocking chair.
Rowan to Keaton: "NO, Baba!"
Me: "Can you ask him nicely not to do that?"
Rowan: "No we will rock you, Baba."

Rowan: "Bob Ross paint it."

Listening to the radio:
Me: "Who sings this?"
Rowan: "Cage E El-Fant. I like it, Cage E El-Fant." (Cage the Elephant).

King Kong vs Hong Kong

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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Keaton: "Maybe elves aren't real."
Me: "If I were Santa, I'd want help!"
K: "Well he has five fingers on each hand, and five toes on each foot. That's help."

K: "King Kong is in China."
Me: "Hong Kong?"
K: "Oh, yeah."

"My tongue feels like a desert cracking."

Keaton talking about Casey and I, to his babysitter Janine: "Sometimes they have to go out by themselves because they are with us all the time, on the weekends and get bored."

In a moment

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, folks! Casey gave Keaton a (pretend) shaving lesson this weekend. Keaton was sure to ask me multiple times if his face was smoother and handsome like Daddy's. 😁
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Keaton : "What kind of rice is this?"
Me : "Dirty rice. It smells good!"
K: "It smells... dirty."

About Rowan: "He's as sharp as a shark."

"If my brain didn't work, I would be like jello."

Watching Frozen, talking to Nik: "This is set in western California."

To me : "You'll see it in a moment. And if not, you'll see it in another moment."

Keatonisms

"Funny things my brothers say should be called 'Brothersisms'."

"Mommy, I just learned that you should not glue something and then cut it with scissors. I made a big mess. But I guess it was just time for me to learn that lesson."

I saw a cardinal outside and I got caught up watching it eat birdseed. "Let's just focus on our food, Mommy."

Can't always get what you want

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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I was searching for something in the van: "Mommy, what are you looking for? A flying pig?"

I apparently remembered something differently than Keaton thought I should.
K: "You misunderstand yourself."

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" came on the radio. I explained that it was by the Rolling Stones, and Mick Jagger was singing. Keaton listened to the chorus and said, "He is the rightest person in the whole world."

Cheer for both teams!

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, and last day of March!!
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Casey to Keaton, talking about the vent in the bathroom ceiling: "That hole in the ceiling, do you know what goes up there?"
K: "Poop."

We were sitting down to breakfast, and I had to take Rowan's R2D2 toy away so he would eat.
K, trying to comfort Rowan: "But you have D2 in your heart."

I decided to do my hair and makeup one day before picking Keaton up from school. It doesn't happen often. He gets into the car and starts drilling me. "Where are you going? Why do you look pretty?" LOL

"Oh my world." (Oh my word.)

(When one of his brothers was having a meltdown) "He's slap-angry."

K: "Did the Irish team win?" (Notre Dame vs Wichita State.)
Me: "Yes they did."
K: "So that means the team you were cheering for didn't win?"
Me: "Yep. That's the way it's been this season...all the teams I cheered for lost."
K: "Well maybe you should cheer for both teams, that way one of them will win."

Funnier with age

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, ladies and gents!
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Keaton, singing (yelling): "Thank you for Mommy! Thank you for Daddy! Thank you for China!"
Me: "Why do you say China?"
K: "Because they made the first fireworks!"

With a sympathetic look on his face (the day after KU's loss): "Mommy, I'm wearing Jayhawk socks for you today."

"I can't remember any of the other presidents. I can only remember Marac Obama."

"I'm funnier than I was when I was little."

Keatonisms - St. Patrick's Day

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, and St. Patrick's Day!
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Keaton, stepping on the scale: "I cost zero pounds."

Me, to Keaton: "This morning didn't go very well. When I asked you to go fast, you went really really slow. How can we make it better tomorrow?"
K: "Chocolate. It makes me go faster."

K: "Ohhh man. Oh woman."

About a scratch he got on his arm: "It's big and long like a questiomation mark!"

Keat and the jelly jar

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, lovely people!

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Keaton loves The Brady Bunch. Except Jan. "Sometimes when I see her, it gives me a headache. She's super headache girl."

"Let me tell you what I know about spiders. If they do the wrong dance, their partner will eat them."

To me: "Were chariots around when your were born?" (I don't know what his obsession with chariots is about lately!)

To me: "You look prettier than Elsa. Elsa is sun good, but you are Pluto good. That's a lot better."

K: "How many years until I'm a hundred?"
Me: "Ninety five."
K: "Okay. I wanna be on the jelly jar with Kaelyn." (Translation: He wants to be on the Today Show and have Willard Scott put his face (and Kaelyn 's) on the Smucker's jar for turning 100.)

March Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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K: "How old is Great Grandpa?"
Me: "I'm not sure, buddy. I think he's in his 80s."
K: "Okay, I'll be gentle with him."

"My body is like a big machine. It has lots of parts to it."

Me, about Rowan: "He's something today, isn't he?"
K: "He always has to be SOMETHING."

Rowan had just done his business in the potty for the first time. We were all excited and congratulating him.
K: "Let's throw him a party! How about we decorate the house with brown and yellow?" (Potty colors??)
Nana De: "How about we just clap."

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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Me: "Well, I'm no Martha Stewart. "
Casey: "Nope, you haven't gone to prison."
Keaton: "Bad joke."

"How do they speak in Iowa?"

"I can't see. I have eye-a-betes."

"Less chariot, more Harriet."

To me: "You're old, and you're navy."

"I must have misunderlooked."

"Mommy, how old is my face?"

Keaton is five.

Because today was a wild and crazy day... And I'm sure someone else out there could use a smile or two... Happy early Keatonism Tuesday!
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Grandpa: Today I had artichoke soup."
Keaton: "Art-a-what-a?"

Falls down: "Help! Both of my pelvises are broken!"

About turning five years old: "Today, I turn odd."

Me, to Keaton: "I can't believe you are five, dude."
K: "I can't believe you're 33."

Belated Twinsday Wednesday

Twinsday Wednesday! Today they somehow learned how to bump their bellies together. (See video on YouTube) I have no idea where they come up with these things, but I love seeing their brotherly bond. 😁😁
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When the episode of Brady Bunch we were watching ended, Rowan yelled: "More Bunch!"

A van outside had the NBC peacock on the outside. Rowan pointed out the window and yelled "Chicago!!" (I was pretty confused ...I then figured out it was because we watch NBC, and they always show downtown Chicago before the news).

Me, to Rowan: "How old are you going to be?"
Ro: "D2." (As in R2D2, his Halloween costume last year.)
Me: "You're going to be two!"
Ro, crying: "D2!!!!!!!"
Nik chimes in: "Yoda!"

Keatonisms

Keaton: "Mommy, Rowan just substituted."
Me: "Do you mean tooted?"
K: "Oh...Yeah!"

Keaton to Rowan: "Neptune is made of gas. It is gassy... Just like you."

K: "Nik looks very convenient."
Me: "What do you think 'convenient' means?"
K: "I don't know. It just sounded right."

Keaton knows I'm 33. He counted past that and said, "Mommy, you're almost 40!"

K: "Mommy, my birthday is in three days!"
Me: "I know, buddy! You must be really excited, you've told me that twice in the last ten minutes!"
K: "Well, just tell me if you forget, and I'll remind you. "

Twinsday "Wednesday"

I meant to do a sort of Twinsday Wednesday status... But it's been a week of injuries and illnesses around here! I think everyone is on the mend. Here are a few goodies from Nik and Rowan!

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Nik, crying: "Train, stuck!"
Rowan: "Oh no! Nik!"
Rowan walks over to Nik. "Stuck, train?" and pats Nik on the head.

Rowan put glasses on his R2D2 toy: "R2, cool guy!"

Rowan trying to tell me the name of his toy, El Chupacabra: "Poo poo caca!"

Nik asking me to rock him: "You, me, chair!"

Nik, to Target cashier: "Bye bye! Wuv you!" (He must've meant it, he said it three times!)

Wise little old man

Because Tuesday has already started on the East coast... Happy Keatonism Tuesday, friends!
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Keaton: "Mommy had to come pick me up early at school today because I was coughing so much."
Casey: "That's what I heard!"
K: "Was it on the news?"

He was taking forever drinking his cough medicine. Me: "Bottoms up!"
Proceeds to stick his bottom up in the air.

Singing like the Kay Jewelers commercial, "Every Mommy begins with M."

While trying to put a sock on Nik for the first time: "It's hard to do because he's so wiggly. I see what you have to do every day." (This may be my new favorite!!)

Rowan was sad that Keaton had to go to school. Me to K: "Does it make you feel good that they miss you when you're gone? "
K: "Yeah. But they'll be in my heart and I'll be in their heart. I learned that from you." (*Tear*)

Twinisms?

I may need to start posting "Twinisms" (In search of a more clever name)... The little guys are a lot of fun these days, and are talking a ton!

Nik likes to yell, "NO, BABY!" whenever a kid plays with a toy he's played with... or looked at... or is in a ten foot radius of him. He also yells "NO, SUNSHINE!" if the sun is in his face. If Keaton is getting in one of his brothers' faces, I tend to ask him to give them space. Last night, Rowan got close to Nik, and Nik said, "Ro, space!!!". He just started saying "Yes" but it sounds more like "Yethhhh" which is adorable, in my opinion.

Rowan likes to hum the theme to Star Wars. He also remembers what everyone in our immediate family dressed as for Halloween last year, and the names of almost all of the trains from Thomas. Even though he skips the number one, he can count to five! And when Nik got hurt last night, Rowan came up, laid his head on me, and said, "Nik, okay?" 😀 Love spending time with these sweeties!

What day is it again?

Belated Keatonisms! (Sorry,Dad!)

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"I didn't hear you because I had my not hearing hat on."

"Worrying is bad for your heart."

"Mommy, will you put real money on my birthday list? Not the fake stuff, the real stuff."

"I'm not a Storm Trooper today. I'm a Hug Trooper." (See video on YouTube)

God and the sun

Happy Keatonism Tuesday! Only a few this week... Either our little Vader was very serous, or I'm slipping!
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"Does God have a really big face with lots of eyes so he can see everything?"

"I love you more than the sun is hot."

Keat

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, everyone! I can't believe this guy turns FIVE in less than a month!
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K: "If an icicle cuts somebody, they could get hurt. They would get a cold cut."
Me: "That's funny, because we usually say a cold cut is like meat from a deli."
K: "Yeah, but I wasn't trying to be funny."

"Do birds have dreams?"

To his brothers: "Do you wanna never grow up never grow up never grow up... Like me?"

To his brothers at dinner, trying to teach them to eat instead of play...in his best teaching voice: "Am I laughing or am I eating? I'm eating."

"I love you as much as a bratwurst. Actually, I don't love you as much as bratwurst, because I don't really like bratwurst, and that would mean I don't love you at all. But I love you as much as God."

Our sea monkeys just had babies. To Rowan: "Can I talk to you about the baby sea monkeys? You can tell they are from the Mommy because the Mommy has a little backpack to carry them in. They have to have water to live. If you take them out, then they die. And we don't want that, do we?"

K: "What days are the weekend?"
Me: "Saturday and Sunday."
K: "Only two of them? I wish there were more. I like spending time with you." (Heart melted.)

Keatonisms begin for 2015

Happy first Keatonism Tuesday of the new year!
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"If you were naked and you were in outer space, you'd be very cold."

"If we lived in Missouri, I don't even want to turn on our TV because there would be Missouri stuff."

"The reason my voice is getting lower is because I'm getting older and I'm doing five year old things."

"How It's Made is the best thing I've watched in a long time. Besides Star Wars. I always like that one better."