Keatonisms

Only a few Keatonisms today... He's been preoccupied with family, and Christmas presents. He also discovered how much fun it is to be a cousin!
*****

"Phones can reach anywhere. But not to God."

"I like money more than banks, because money is more important."

Me: "Look at cousin Ethan's cute dimples!"
K: "Are they real? "

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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"Daddy, can I snore? Okay, I just need to fill my nose up with boogers."

"I wanna be a panda when I grow up."

Me: "Man, I'm tired."
K: "Here, let me get my energy plug!

"I need a little help here!!"

"Sometimes when I eat rice at school, I look in the mirror and my face is all white. Like, it's flushing."

We were driving around looking at Christmas lights.
Me: "I like that house, it's tastefully done."
K: "No is not, we can't eat it!"

"No thanks, Nik. This is not the plan."

"There's no singing in here. I'm sorry, but it's the rule."

Keaton

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, everyone! Keaton informed me recently that he didn't want me to share Keatonisms anymore because he's not trying to be funny on purpose...which was funny in itself. I just can't bring myself to comply with that request. He'll forgive me someday, right?
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"I'll always be your hopeful baby."

We were checking out at the store, and Keaton was apparently bored. "We could get it for free if we move faster."... Yeah, if we ran out the door with the cart instead of paying...

Smarty pants

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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Casey: "What's the difference in our age?"
Keaton: "Numbers."

Our friends were over for dinner, and we had a comedy of errors moment where a few of us dropped food/silverware/etc: "We're all having problems here."

Keaton told me it's tough right now when his brothers are so small because they can't explain why they are upset or they cry a lot. I told him that while it's tough, it's also fun to teach them and watch them learn every day, just like he did when he was their age. He followed up with: "Well I know a lot now so I don't have to learn much more."

"Are there 50 real Santas? I thought there was 50 Santas for 50 states."

Google... Googol

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, friends! I'm googol percent sure you'll at least get a chuckle out of these... 😁

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Keaton: "It's the MacyPenney's Thanksgiving Day parade!!!" (A few moments later, with a confused and slightly disappointed look on his face ) "...so we're just gonna watch a parade on TV and not go to one?"

"I wish I could be like a goose and like winter."

"I'm as sorry as a squirrel. I'm 87% sorry."

For some reason that I can't quite remember, we were discussing protagonists and antagonists. K: "Bullies are protagonists to their moms and dads."

I think I've mentioned that he's been on a Google/googol kick lately. Did everyone else know that googol is a number? Sure was news to me! I will thank Casey for making us aware. 😁

"Ask Google how you spell googol."

"Mommy, I'm googol percent sure that Nik said 'truck'."

Keatonism Tuesday

Thought I'd post Keatonism Tuesday a little early today...mainly because Nik decided it was a good time to be awake. Someone needs to learn from their big brother and figure out how to sleep through the night!! I digress...
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I told Keaton about the Jimmy Kimmel prank where parents tell their kids that they ate all the Halloween candy. He said, "If you did it and I was eighteen, I would shut my door and do my homework for eight days, and wouldn't come out because I'd be mad at you."

"Math and science are more important than art."... Says the kid who loves doing art projects with me! He broke my heart a little with that one.

K: "We don't wanna live in Missouri because that's where the Tigers live."
Casey: "Yeah, and if we lived on the Kansas side we'd have to deal with Kansas politics."
K: "Yeah, like the Jayhawks and the Wildcats." because that's where the Tigers live."
Casey: "Yeah, and if we lived on the Kansas side we'd have to deal with Kansas politics."
K: "Yeah, like the Jayhawks and the Wildcats."

Little old soul

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, friends!
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"Mommy, I love your face.  Only girls can have faces like that."

Watching a penguin swimming with bubbles coming up from the bottom: "He's tooting magic!"

"My heart is mad at my genes for being who I am.  It's like a movie you haven't seen or is coming out, or I'll make it. The genes are doing what they're supposed to do in a real body, but the heart doesn't want it to." Deep! Where does he come up with this stuff??

K: "I love math more than anything ever."
Me: "Do you love it more than you love your Mommy? "
K:... Hesitation...
Me: "Seriously, bud? Numbers and letters can't hug and kiss you!"
K: "Yeah they can. X's and O's!"

Keat

Happy Keatonism Tuesday,  everyone!!
*****

"Does Godzilla have a last or middle name? Ask Google." Actually, I should've asked Sean McGuinness...

"When I was a baby, I thought Earth was a square. But when I growed up to four, I learned that the Earth was a sphere. And now I learn more about the Earth each and every day."

K, to me: "Can I take your ponytail out?"
Me: "I guess so.  What are you gonna do?"
K: "I'm gonna cut the cobwebs out of your head."

Singing, in the middle of Menard's: "Babies for sale!  Babies for sale! "
Me: "What? How much do they cost?"
K: "$1."
Me: "Each, or for both?"
K: "For both."

What Mr. K said last week...

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, and election day! Today Keaton will go with Casey and I to learn about the voting process! He's excited! 😁

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Keaton put on his winter coat. "I look like I have blue muscles. But I really have peach muscles. Or maybe tan."

We've been "asking Google" questions lately and occasionally the answers are read by my phone. It said "Here is information from Better Homes and Gardens." Keaton said, "What information did you get from from better plums and garbage?"

"I'm an expert boo-er!"

"Did Luke Skywalker have boy parts?"

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, friends!
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Keaton, to me: "Are you a good painter?"
Me: "I dunno. Some people think I'm okay, some people probably don't."
K: "Well if they don't like your painting, don't be their friend."

K: "It's too bad we don't have two daddies that were the same guy."
Me: "Yeah, we'd have to clone him. It's like making a copy of him."
K: "Yeah, like clone him. Then we'd have one that could stay at home, and one that could go to work. And then the one at work could switch and he would come home and play and the other one would go to work." (Someone is a fan of his daddy...)

K, to Casey: "Mommy doesn't have a working job. She has a keeping-an-eye job. I mean she keeps an eye on my brothers."

"When you get older you get squiggly hands."

"Special K"

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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"When I grow up and get a band, I'm going to call it Mickey Minaj."

I was talking to him about his genetic makeup. Looking back, I probably should've used different terminology, but he's a curious kid and I figure I'll tell him like it is. He said, "Genetic makeup... why is there makeup on our genes?"

Me: "What kind of cereal would you like for breakfast?"
K: "Special K, cuz I'm K and I'm special."

Me: "I'm thinking of making pot roast tonight."
K: "No, I don't like roasted pot."

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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"He's not going to lift heavy weights, he's going to lift paper weights because those aren't heavy."

First sarcastic sentence (that I've heard, anyway...) "Well, I'm glad I got crumbs all over me."

He got a wedding cake cupcake: "Can I have my marriage cake now?"

"I'm heavier than I used to be, because I love to grow."

While sitting on my back, "I'm switching your bones around where they're supposed to be."

Mr. K Tuesday

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, everyone!
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"Misunderlooked it- that means when you look at something but you misunderstand what you saw."

After getting disciplined for making a mess in the bathroom: "When I get older and my sons do something bad, I'm not gonna to do anything. I'm just gonna let them." Haha... My only response was, "Well, that'll be your parenting choice, and this is mine."

"Cold air is the baddest thing in my whole entire life."

He saw Giada De Laurentiis on TV: "I love her face!"

"I'm not going to drive when I get to be 16, I'm going to let Kaelyn drive."

"You're more emo than Nemo." LOL!

Keatonism & misheard lyrics

Keatonism Tuesday, with bonus Misheard Lyrics!
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"I'm gonna take a deep breath, relax, and think." (Something Mommy needs to learn as well!)

Casey, while at the zoo: "I'm pretty sure we found the zebras."
K: "I can smell them!!!"

"When I get bigger I'm going to change my name to Darth Vader."

Misheard Lyrics:

Let It Go: "I'll rise like the break of dawn"
Keaton sang: "I'll rise like a ray gone door"

Stolen Dance by Milky Chance: "Dancing on, do the boogie all night long"
Keaton sang: "It's so long, feel the boogie on my thumb"

Keatonism Tuesday

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, everyone!
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"When I have an owie on my head, I sure don't kiss it. Because I can't reach it."

K: "I just saw a humpback whale because it got on its back and it humped."
Me: "Oh, o....kay.... "

I was explaining to that Keaton and we have a bit of Native American ancestry on my side. I tried explaining a bit of genetics, but quickly realized it was way too confusing a topic for a 4 year old. And maybe a 32 year old. I realized he wasn't really understanding my point when he said "I won't give my Native American blood to anybody!"

K: "What is this dinosaur called?"
Me: "It says it's a 'Pinacosaurus'."
K: "So it's a Penisaurus."
Me: "....."

K: "I don't feel young. I feel old and young."
Me: "Right in the middle? That's sort of where I am."
K: "Actually, let me put this straight. You are young." (LOL)

Keat

K: "Mommy, were you ever big?"
Me: "Nope. The only time I've ever been bigger was when you or your brothers were in my tummy."
"Well you're bigger than you think you are."

Puts large curly blond wig on Grandma: "You're the prettiest lady in the valley."

"Having that many commercials is despicable."

Praying: "Thank you for making strings and making people. And making snakes and making caramel."

While eating Spider-Man fruit snacks: "I just ate Spider-Man's face!"

Keatonisms

Me: " Keaton, I don't appreciate your attitude right now."
K: "I'm not attiduding!"

"Did God make crayons?"

K: "Mommy, I want to have three brothers and three sisters."
Me: "Yeah, that's not happening. Sorry, dude."

First day of pre-k

It's Keaton's first day of Pre-K for 2014-15! Here are some Keatonisms and facts about our big guy:

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Casey: "I'm 407 months old."
Keaton: "So you're a unicorn."

Older man with long beard and pot belly walks by at the mall.
K: "SANTA IS HERE!!!!" (He hasn't seen Elf, but it was about the same intensity as that scene!)
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Favorite color: purple
Favorite food: muffins
Favorite movie: Star Wars (#3)
Favorite TV show: Curious George
Favorite song: Let It Go
When Keaton grows up, he wants to fix airplanes and fly them like his Papa Keith.

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, and happy 18 months to Nik & Rowan!!
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"Mommy, I can feel your arm heart."
(He then learned what a pulse is.)

"I just sneezed and boogies came flying out like a boogie concert!"

"It's a watermelon, so the juice is water, right?"

Keatonisms & half birthday

Not only is it Keatonism Tuesday, it is also his half birthday! Happy 4.5, Mr. K!
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Keaton: "What shape is my waffle?"
Me: "A heart."
K: "Nope, it's Pennsylvania."

K: "Why are we driving around instead of going home?
Me: "We're going the scenic route."
K: "That means we're lost."
Me: "Nope, it just means we're going the long way home."
K: "Well when Grandma and Nana drive, it means we're lost." (LOL, sorry Nana De!)

"Alright, Big mommy salami."

"My body tells me I'm sleepy but I don't listen to my body because my body's not right." (...which might explain why he takes soooo long to get to sleep!)

Fancy was on the radio: "Is this even a song? It sounds like a commercial."

A Menard's employee saw my troop of boys, smiled, and raised her eyebrows. "Did you find everything okay?" Me: "I sure wish you guys sold extra hands." She laughed. Keaton chimed in: "And I sure wish you guys sold extra teeth."

Mister Rogers (singing): "Won't you be my neighbor?"
K: "I would be his neighbor. Because he has a purple coat."
Mr. Rogers, still singing: "Won't you be my neighbor?"
K: "Yes, but I'm not in your show. Sorry, dude!"

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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"We got married when we were a kid, now we have to get adult married. We're just kid married." -about his girlfriend (wife??) Kaelyn.

About his sandwich that was not staying together: "I'm falling apart."

Me, to Casey: "This has 16 grams of sugar." K: "And you are 60 grams of mommy."

"I'm never tired, I just sleep because you tell me to."

Mr. K Tuesday

Here's two Keatonisms for your Keatonism Tuesday!
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Casey: "The lady that cut my hair said Head and Shoulders is not good for anyone."
Keaton: "Well cut off my head and shoulders, then!"

I was quickly switching through radio stations in the van.
K: "I like that song! Turn it back!"
Tears for Fears- Head Over Heels was on, and I thought maybe it was the right station.
K: "It's definitely not this one."

Keat

It's Keatonism Tuesday again! Have a great one!
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In his underwear: "I'm gonna be a Sumo wrestler!"

I put on my clip on sunglasses over my driving glasses. "You look a little bit crazy."

I picked up a prescription at CVS, and commented that the head pharmacist is a nice guy who's given me the last 3 flu shots.
K: "Is he on Facebook? You should find him and be his friend!"

"I'd very very super much like to have a store for people to come shop at when they need anything. Because I want to help people. And you and I can own it. We will call it the 'Mommy and Keaton Store'.

"Even though you don't have light-up shoes, you're still special."

Mr. K

Happy Keatonism Tuesday, folks!
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"It'd be fun if every month and every week we had a birthday."

To Casey, who had been grilling outside: "You smell like hamburger."

"Mommy, I always wanted a mommy that was named what you're named."

"Mommy, I wanna keep you for a whole month!"

He started wiggling his fingers at Rowan. I asked what he was doing. "I'm tickling him through the Force."

Keaton asked me about NASA and what they do there. I was making a list of things and said "and da da da da da..." because I couldn't come up with more at the moment.
K: "What is da da da da da? Is it a kind of rocket?"

Me: "Grandpa's birthday is tomorrow."
K: "Maybe we can email his presents!"

"Goodnight! I hope you have nice feelings and nice dreams!"

To me: "If you didn't have me, then you wouldn't remember stuff." (This is too true! I don't usually need a grocery list because he remembers everything!)

"Donate means like when I give one of my brothers to somebody else."

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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"That's pretty cool... whip!"

"The fireworks sound like whipped cream coming out of the can." (Do you see a theme here? Haha...)

To one of his brothers: "Hi you little cutie booty!"

I left the room briefly. Keaton, upon my arrival! "Hi, Mommy! It's really good to see you again!"

"Why do we feel air (wind) but we can't see it?" (Deep thoughts...)

Belated Keatonisms

"I fall in love with Kaelyn because I want to be around her all the time." (He also told me he tells her she's beautiful every day.) ❤

Keaton: "Mommy can't drive."
Casey: "That's not true. How do you get places every day?"
Keaton: "Daddy uses the force to drive us from work..." (touche)

Casey: "So you have the get duct tape-"
K: "For my mouth?"

Keaton, to me: "I love you so much that my heart even loves you, too."

Keatonisms (Week of June 17)

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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Keaton: "Mercury is the hottest planet, because it's closest to the sun."
Me: "That's right, smarty pants."
K: "I'm not pants! I don't get worn. I'm a human."

"Daddy remembered so much from school and you didn't. Right mommy?" LOL...I honestly didn't know how to respond to this one.

Somebody's Watching Me was on the radio: "This sounds like outer space music."

Confession...I like Barefoot wine. Keaton saw a bottle at the store and thought I needed some.
K: "Do you have the foot drink? Do they make that with people's feet?"

Casey, at dinner: "I should use my Tabasco jelly!"
K: "What's tabasketball jelly?

We were leaving the house, and I asked Keaton to hurry and get his shoes on. I went outside and then came back in to check on him. He didn't hear me come in, but I heard him talking to his shots: "Shoes, don't make me go slow, please!"

"What is God's last name? Is he a Hetrick?"

"I've been to heaven! I bounced up there on my pogo stick."

Casey: "We're out of lunch meat."
K: "But we're not out of dinner meat."

Keatonism catch-up

We were at Old Navy, and Keaton was talking about how he thought the mannequin used to be a real person. He said, "They just cut the faces off." It was then that I realized an employee had overheard the conversation, and his eyes got wide and he said, "That would be horrifying."

"Are Papa and Nana the boss of the earth?"

Me: " What was that noise?"
K: "It was Cookie Monster monstering a cookie."

"I called grandma an Angel, and then I hit her in the head with a balloon."

"Why does Grandpa have to work? I thought he was RETIRED!!"

"I didn't ever hear that! My ears must've been off."

While cuddling next to me: "I'm cold! Do you mind if I take the temperature from your body to mine?"

Me, after he asked me for the 10th time about something: "Keaton, please be patient!"
K: "I'm a kid! I don't know how to be patient!"

To me: "Goodnight, your majesty."

Keatonisms, week of May 27th

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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"Snoopy is allergic to babies."

Me, helping Keaton with his shower: "Don't forget to wash your armpits."
K: "And my leg armpits, too."

We were talking about Father's Day.
K: "When will it be Kid's Day?"

"That marshmallow was so yummy that I started walking and almost broke a bone."

"I like having blood pressure."

"Trashcans fell, pumpkins smell. Mommy, I rhymed!"

"Coffee cup is a mommy cup." Yep.

"At Kansas do they have a munchkin store there?" (He meant doughnuts...not a Wizard of Oz reference...lol)

Keatonisms, week of May 20th

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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"My tummy is growling very hard!"

I need to give a little explanation about this one. If you've seen the Arbor Day Charlie Brown episode, Schroeder has to kiss Lucy when he hits a home run. We were watching the Blackhawks game, and Keaton was a bit confused. "When he hits a home run, does he have to go kiss him?"

Pretending his toy Snoopy is his son.
To me: "That means you're his grandma!"

"Is Jonathon Toews the king?"

"An octagon squirts ink."

"Why do our eyes have to have color?"

Anytime we drive more than 5 minutes in the car, Keaton asks if we are in a different state.

Watching people control traffic with batons: "Are they holding light sabers?"

We were eating Snickerdoodle bread. "How did they make it? They put stickers on it and noodles on it. Stickernoodle."

In downtown Chicago, checking out the Bean: "Why are we checking out the Boston bean?"

Keatonisms, week of May 13th

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!!
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Me: "Your nana is a neat lady."
K: "Amen!"

"Why do tic tacs carry diseases?" (ticks)

"Someday I'm going to grow fruits and vegetables and pumpkins and mashed potatoes."

Me: "What's your favorite toy?"
K: "My brothers."

Casey: "I see some hot pink play doh on the floor."
K: "It's not very hot."

My sister-in-law is 9 months pregnant, and we asked Nana De how she was feeling.
De: "Leslie is ready to deliver this baby."
K: "Why do they deliver it? It's not a package!"

Casey: "They are synonyms."
K: "They are cim-man-nims?"
Casey: "No, synonyms."
K: "M&Ms? Lem-in-nems?"

"I'm getting married today, to Kaelyn. I'm getting married at the airport. They have a special place for merriments."

Keatonisms week of May 6th

Keatonism Tuesday is upon us again! Hope you have a great one!

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"Does a wind breaker break wind?"

K: "Panda Thunder is on!"
Me: "...Kung Fu Panda?"

While riding in the car behind a FedEx truck:
K: "What does F-E-D-E-X spell?"
Me: "FedEx."
K: "Do they take people's presents and give them to other people?!? I don't like them!!"

"You're my mommy and you're the prettiest mommy that I have."

"I can't see things properly!"

Keaton had the Toys R Us ads and was making up a story for one of his brothers. "...and then Spider-Man made all the people in heaven alive again with his powers. (Turns page.) And then there were coupons."

"Mommy, we're not allowed to laugh in this store." (Red Mango)

About the group of 8th graders that I reprimanded last week for cussing loudly around the boys:  "My ears knowed that they were saying bad words, that's why my ears were off when that happened."

Only two this week!

Only two Keatonisms? Talk about an off week. Surely we'll make up for it next week. 😉
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To me: "You used to work but now you're retired." (He did get the 'tired' part right!)

K: "I wanna buy a limo. Maybe someday when I'm older, like when I'm eight."
Me: "Where would we keep it? We wouldn't have space in our garage."
K: "We would have to get a bigger house."

Belated Keatonisms

Happy May Day! Sorry for forgetting Keatonisms this Tuesday...it's been a busy week with the twins teething and walking everywhere. Never a dull moment around here!

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To Casey: "You're a mean parakeet." (?)

Running around in his underwear: "Now I am a Sumo wrestler!"

Me: "I ate a lot of hamburgers when you were in my tummy."
K: "Why? Why did you not eat baby food?  Because I was a baby."

Me: "The guy in front of us is going really slow!"
K: "Go around him."
Me: "I would, but that's against the law. I'd get a ticket."
K: "But there's no policemen around us! Just do it."

Weekly Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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Keaton, yelling out the window to the street cleaning truck: "Thanks, street cleaner! You're the best!"

"Mommy, my bottom hurts. I have a dinosaur in my bottom."

"My nose is very smellful and good."

Singing: "Nik's hands are so cute, and his toes are so cute, and his face is so cute... And Rowan is cute, and mommy is purty, and daddy is haaandsome!"

Me, to Casey: "This quiz says I should only have one kid. So which one are we keeping?"
K, overhearing my joke: "You're going to keep me...because I'm the best."

Casey to Keaton: "Do you want to..."
Keaton: "-build a snowman?"

K, to me: "You're my favorite girl in the whole world!"

After he saw a baby: "I just saw little cute fella."

"Oh, grief." (After watching Snoopy)

Me: "What happened? Why are you crying?"
K: "I was clucking like a chicken and then I clucked right into the bookcase with my elbow!"

"It's not nice if you call birds 'birdies'. If they hear you they will poop on you."

Mr. K

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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Keaton, to me: "Your nose looks pretty. Put it on Facebook." Lol...

"My heart almost went into my brain and I thought I'd break my head open."

"I think this song (Dark Horse) is Katy Perry and Darth Vader."

Silly kid

Happy Keatonism Tuesday again!
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Me: "Rowan is tooting up a storm."
K: "What color is the storm in Rowan's booty?"

"I have homework! Stop interrupting me!"

"I don't like new things. I like old things from the 80s."

"Dezausted"- exhausted?

"When I'm stretched out (he meant stressed out) I feel upset."

Grandma: "Does dad have a man cave in the basement?"
K: "No, he's got a Batman cave in the basement."

"Pacifier. It's like we pass a fire that we toast marshmallows on."

Belated Keatonisms

I tried posting these but there's a problem with my phone the last 2 weeks. Sorry for the delay!

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Keaton: "Why is it snowing in Spring? Mother Nature, go away!"

"Mommy, your singing voice is good. Maybe not to other people, but to me." (Pretty sure he is the only one that enjoys it! Lol...)

K to Casey: "You're silly."
Casey: "You're sillier."
K: "You're celery."

Casey: "So I'll be..." (paused for a second)
Keaton: "...coming around the mountain?"

"When you go to the Dark Side, you eat Red Lobster all the time."

Casey: "What would you call a mixture of peanut butter and nutella? Nut butter?"
K: "We would call that disgusting."

"My brain counted very fast."

"The TV is flat so everyone on the TV is flat."

K: "Rowan had a shiny smile."
Me: "What do you mean?"
K: "When he smiled, sparkles came out."

K: "She used to be your daughter but now she's my mommy."
My mom: "Can she still be our daughter and still be your mommy?"
K: "No. She can only be one thing."

Keatonisms

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
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"I'm not a man, but I'm super."

Water from another car splashed onto our windshield while I was driving. "That made my heart get a little freaked out!"

Sees a rabbit in the back yard. "Rabbit, go away! You might be a dangerous or stinky one!"

"Someday I wanna watch the vitamin show." (The Flintstones)

I took a drink of an Irish milkshake.  "Noooo! You'll turn Irish-ish! You'll get very wound up and Irish will come into you!"

It's Keatonism Tuesday again!

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
*****
"I think on St. Patrick's day we go outside where it's very warm and we dance in a circle. Is that right?"

"Do Storm Troopers make storms?"

I had just taken a shower and had a towel over my hair. "You look cute in your towel. You look like a Storm Trooper!" (Someone's obsessed with Star Wars!)

Me: "You get shots to prevent diseases. If you didn't get them, you could get really sick."
K: "Or I could die...then I would never be alive again. And they would make a statue of me."

"Goalies are good. Bullies are bad."

Keatonism (and Fat) Tuesday

Happy Keatonism (and Fat) Tuesday, everyone!
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"Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her courage and whey."

He saw my Sprite: "May I have some please? It will not make me go crazy."

"God is an architect because he designs things."

"What color is a toot? I think it's clear." (LOL...)

"Does sand have air?"

"Last night in my bedroom, I smelled something very familiar."
Me: "What did it remind you of?"
K: "Trash."

"I was on Earth for 60,000 years." ???

"How does Superman dance? What color is his home?"

"Look, it's the Peanut manager! (Mr. Peanut)

"I think those girls are having a girls night off."

"Does Han Solo drink coffee?"

K: "Mommy, why did Ellen say that guy was handsome and pretty? I thought just girls are pretty."
Me: "Because he (Jared Leto) is a good looking man."
K: "Why is he good looking?"
Me: "Good genes, I guess. His mom is really pretty, too."
K: "What color is his mom's jeans?"

Thoughts from a four year old

(Copied from my Facebook post:)

It's Keatonism Tuesday! I'm just sad I'm awake to see the start of the day already...thanks, baby brothers! :-P

*****
K: "What is the name of this restaurant?"
Me: "Hoolihan's."
K: "I don't like the name."
Me: "Why?"
K: "Because real hands don't hula."

"It's not even tomorrow yet!"

He is starting to see words and sound them out. He was reading the dashboard for the radio in the van: "That says 'Rock'.'" That sort of blew my mind. He asked me to change the station so he could read something else. "That says 'Soft'. Can we turn it back to Rock now?" :-)

"Grandma, we got a new house! It's in Canada." (?? This lady is not moving farther north anytime soon, thanks.)

"I hope our TV never runs out of batteries."

"I wanna go see the equator someday."

"I can't think in my head. My brain doesn't work now."

"Gamecocks are in a game. Blackhawks are in a black."

K: "Why is a tomato a fruit?"
Me: "I can't remember why exactly. We'll have to look it up later."
K: "I think the Queen made it up."

K: "How do you use the force?"
Casey: "Lots of training. And coffee." (More of a Caseyism, I suppose.)

He saw Ellen on a magazine: "Hey look! It's Ellen OurGenesis!"

I was bragging on my friend Jawleh who's 28 weeks pregnant with triplet girls, and Keaton said, "If she keeps going, there'll be four babies!" I clearly need to explain this better. Or maybe I don't quite yet... (You are my hero, Jawleh!!)

Most pathetic voice ever: "Being in the dark is terrible!"

"I hit my five head. My forehead I mean."

Keatonisms, 4 year old edition

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!

*****
We went to Red Lobster for Keaton's birthday dinner, his choice. He almost ate more crab legs than I did, which I didn't think was possible. After dinner, he decided to stop at every table on the way out to show them his birthday shirt and tell them he was four.

"I'm excited to be four! Then I don't have to take naps anymore!" (Still napping, thank goodness!)

"I just like cake."

"There's one seat for a big year old."

I tend not to speak well when I'm hungry. Keaton knows this. I messed up what I was trying to say pretty badly, and he said, "You must be hungry hungry hungry!"

I felt his forehead to see if he had a temperature. "Did you feel my brain?"

He heard Foo Fighters on the radio: "What does it mean? Do they fight? Do they foo?"

Ahhhhh Kansas!

I'm venting. You have been warned.

*****
When I was a sophomore in high school, one of my best friends came out to me. She was the first person to ever do this, and we had been through such hard times together in middle school- depression over relationships, friendships, etc., that I went from surprised to instantly happy for her. I could see that for the first time, she was truly happy. She was being true to herself. And what more could someone want for their friend? It's like when she said the words to me, it all clicked and made sense. This is someone who would not "choose" to be gay, only to have problems with family and friends who didn't like her "decision". When she came out, it proved to me that being gay wasn't a choice. It was very hard for her to tell people that she was a lesbian. But really, I could see the freedom in her to be who she really was. And while life has taken us separate ways, I still think of her and am so happy she was able to find happiness in her life. She is a wonderful person with a caring heart, and is someone who taught me more lessons about life than I even realized, until I think of the things she has to deal with now living in our home state of Kansas.

So when the state does things like try to pass a bill that would deny service to same-sex couples, I think of her. I think of how much she doesn't deserve that. No one deserves discrimination, but sadly, it is everywhere. I am just sad that the government in Kansas is so backwards that a bill like this can be passed. It makes me think about a lot of things.

My generation needs to get out and be more active in state government. Not me... I'm not geared that way. But I have plenty of friends that are. I really feel like people get too wrapped up in the religious side of the issue. Love thy neighbor, right? Unless your neighbor is gay. Then, forget it.

What if you found out your parent is gay? Sister, brother, uncle? It happens. I have several friends whose parents have come out after decades of marriage. Do you think those people just woke up one day and decided, "Hey, I think I'll just choose to be gay now. Sorry, kids. Mommy likes girls." Not so much. There is a lot of stress and drama that would accompany such a "decision". Everyone looks for answers. "It's a chemical imbalance." "It's because of sexual abuse." I am going to call BS on all of those. Why does there need to be blame? Let people be who they are.

Why do we need to have labels? I have been labeled all my life. Short, pale, too skinny, my teeth are too big, I have "bullet-proof" hair (whatever that meant- thanks, kid at summer camp), I talk too much, etc, etc, etc. It got to me. I lost sleep over it. I was depressed over it. Middle school was HELL. But you know what? I found people that ACCEPTED me. These people liked me for who I was. And the majority of those people are still my best friends today. Too many young people give up before that happens. I think there need to be more advocates in schools to counter the bullying that happens every single day to people who are "different". But isn't the passing of this law basically allowing the "bullies" to win? Can the same people who discriminate against same-sex couples and deny them service also ask your religion at the door and refuse to serve you if your religions aren't the same? Nope, because they'd get sued. Is religion a choice? Last time I checked it was. Two different things. Maybe we should stop lumping them together.

I don't claim to know a lot about politics. I don't like to get into debates and I really don't like reading about government as a whole. I usually shy away from talking about political issues like this, but they've made it one, and it's made me angry. I would love to move back to Kansas to be closer to our family, but right now it's so backwards that I'd be afraid to 1) give money to a state that makes decisions like this, 2) raise my kids in an environment that would, more often than not, have funding cut from their schools or special interests, and 3) be subjected to the political leaders that were somehow elected and are making decisions that go against what most of my generation claims to believe... if so, are we voting?? How are these people getting elected?

I think I'm done ranting, for now. This just makes my head want to explode.

-Ashley

Pay it forward

I was having a crappy start to the morning, so I decided to grab lunch and regroup. It cost just over $6, and I had $10, so I told the cashier just to keep it all and give the remainder to the person behind me in line. Why did she look at me like she was confused? Why did I have to tell her I didn't need change or a receipt? Paying it forward should not be so complicated.  On the bright side, it did make me feel a bit better about my day.

That is all.

-Ash

Keatonisms, 2nd week of February

The big guy turns for tomorrow. Unbelievable!

*****
Keaton: "Mommy, my ear hurts."
Me: "What does it feel like?"
K: "It feels like my bone is going to come out."

"God and kings make our decisions."

"I don't like to be wrong."

"Does Captain America have a house?"

"Sloppy Joes is too sloppy, so I don't wanna have it for lunch."

Keaton was playing with one of the baby toys that has a microphone. Here are a few excerpts I overheard:  "This is Keaton Alexander Hetrick. I was calling in to see if we could get more daddies."
"We need somebody to help us to clean our house up and clean all of our things. And I need more mommies and more daddies and more baby brothers and more me."
"I was wondering if we could get anything for my baby brothers to stop crying. The pacifier doesn't work."
"Goodnight, sleep tight everyone in the whole wide world."

"Rexatynosauras"- type of dinosaur Keaton wants to be...he meant T-Rex.

Me: "What did it feel like to be four?"
K: "It feels like your leg hurts."

Keatonisms

The fact that it's Keatonism Tuesday again just reminds me how much time is flying. I know a certain funny little boy who will be FOUR next week! Unbelievable!
*****

"What color are arctic butterflies?"

To me: "Sometimes you don't say great things."

"Come back here Larry, my son." (Lol... He said he was quoting VeggieTales...?)

"Thank you, Mommy! You always have good options."

"I want a cheese hamburger! And a white milk! Cuz I'm not meant for chocolate milk." (I guess I have him believing this because I don't let him have chocolate milk yet...don't judge! If you've seen Keaton after consuming sugar, you know why I have held off!)

"People say I'm true. I say true things sometimes, right?"

"I was a baby when I was first on Earth. Now I just have to keep growing to be an adult."

"When I grow up I'm going to have ALL the peanut butter and jellies!"

To me, after I fixed his balloon: "You can fix it! You're Supergirl!"

To me: "Sometimes you're a clumsy monkey." (And he's SO right!)

He fell hard onto the sidewalk and started crying. Then he screamed at the ground, "YOU WILL NEVER BONK ME!" (Sorry, bud, it already did.) :-(

"You're a great Mommy, even when you say bad words." (Hahaha!! Trust me, he doesn't yet know what bad words are!)

Weekly Keatonisms

Is it really Keatonism Tuesday again? The kiddo has had a fever for the last four days. Here's hoping Healthy Keaton shows up soon! I miss that guy.

*****
"My head grew, but my shirt didn't."

"What color is your brain? I know, your brain is black. Mine is gray."

Me: "You're a smart kid!"
K: "Thanks! You're a smart Mommy."

"Some kids are great, some are not great."

The Star Wars obsession continues. He's never even seen the movie, but he can talk for hours and ask millions of questions about "Dark Vader" and "Obi Wan Cannoli".

Down with the sickness

I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact that when one kid gets sick, they all do. Nik started throwing up early in the week. Two days later, Rowan did. Now that they are getting their appetites back, Keaton is getting sick. Friday night he spiked a fever of 103° around 3:30 a.m., which finally broke Saturday morning. Now, after getting up with the little guys off and on since 1:45 a.m., Keaton called for me, and his fever is back up to 101.3°. There is something about the 1-3:30 a.m. time slot that is starting to become a pattern in our household lately!

Casey stayed up until 1:30, to ensure I got some rest. So far that 3 hour stretch of time in between has been fueling me, but I'm starting to feel exhaustion set in as I get up yet again with Nik. One more attempt to lay him down in the crib. I always look at the clock and hope it's the last time I have to see it for a long time. No luck so far.

I'm not really sure how to avoid getting sick at this point, since everyone around me is (basically) and my lack of sleep make my immune system more at risk. I'd love to be optimistic here. I also know that the stomach virus is very contagious, and I've been thrown up on twice this week, which was honestly one of the nastiest things I've ever dealt with before. I am a wimp when it comes to cleaning up things that come out of other people... I didn't realize this until I became a mom. I guess you just do what ya gotta do.

-Ash

Video Keatonism

Oh boy. Here we go. Lol...

Can anyone blame me for dodging this topic? I'm just not quite ready to go there...haha!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vErd5NE_ULQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Weekly Keatonisms

It's Keatonism Tuesday again, folks! Enjoy. If you're good, I may even post a link later so you can hear Keaton's take on where babies come out of their mothers when they are born...haha!! This kid is too much.

*****
"I have a really really big boney bottom."

"You're a really good mess, Nik."

"I like John Mayer. As much as I can."

"I get the sleep you want, for you." (He was basically rubbing in my face the fact that he sleeps well and I don't. *Just got five straight hours, though! I should not be this wide awake at 3 a.m.!)

"You're the owner of the toner!" (Random, yet too funny not to share.)

Keaton was playing with one of his a Star Wars toys, and he put the Storm Trooper in the corner. "You get to sit in the corner, bad guy. You can think about your bad guy things and your bad decisions."

Letting his brothers crawl on him (picture included): "I'm getting killed of this." (tired of this)

I was explaining to him the reasons why I like basketball and hockey best, over football. I honestly don't understand all of the rules. He tried explaining them. "Mommy, football is when you kick. You put it in the right place, then you kick."

We were watching American Idol, and to make it interesting, we pointed out where people were from on a map of the U.S..
K:"The Oregon people speak what we speak."

"Bite my dust."

"I need some hot chocolate to cool me up."

We watched a clip of Yoda using the Force on YouTube. "Can I have the Force for my birthday?" (If anyone can hook this up, let me know.) ;-)

Perspective.

I read an article recently about a Mom who, in a very brief synopsis, decided to stop complaining about the daily struggles being a stay-at-home-Mom, and just own it. Own it. That's a thing. And I don't do it very often.

Here's the real deal. It bugs me when people call me Super Mom. Let's be clear- I didn't babysit much as a kid. I was an only child. I didn't grow up nurturing or having this idea in my head that I wanted to be a SAHM someday. But I am one. It's been both a privilege, and a struggle. Because really, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing. I have a better freaking clue than I did four years ago, but the twins are throwing me for a loop. And while I'm okay with that, I know that I would be a better version of myself right now if I got a full night's rest. I long for the patience I could have if I weren't so darn tired all the time. I have not and will not ever claim to be Super Mom. I did not receive any cape in the mail.

The article basically listed a bunch of things this mother knew in advance, and how she needed to just realize that this is her situation, and stop complaining about it. She did let on (which made me grin at the time) that she did not anticipate getting as little sleep as she has. Yes!! I'm not alone!! Even mothers who know what they are getting into still bitch about lack of sleep! Score a freebie for me. Because if there's something I complain about each and every day, it's how tired I am. Keaton looks at me every morning now and asks, "Mommy, are you tired? Did my brothers not let you sleep last night?" to which I always reply, "Yep, buddy. Mommy's always tired."

So maybe I need to put this in perspective. Is this why people say the first few years of a child's life are blurry when you look back? Because you get such jacked up sleep that normal thoughts and comprehension go out the window for awhile? I can think about where we were a year ago, and how much has changed. Everything has, in one way or another. I can conclude that my kids will in fact sleep someday. Someday they'll probably have to be dragged from their beds. Someday, when they are teenagers... which will be another issue altogether!

It's not the end of the world, by any means. I doubt Keaton will grow up and remember this part...the grumpy Mommy who lived off 4 hours of broken sleep and worshiped her Keurig every morning. I look forward to times ahead where I lay the babies down at night and I don't see the clock every 1-2 hours afterward. Where I don't pray every day at nap time that the twins will actually sleep at the same time and I'll get even a 15 minute nap. It's coming. Right?

Enough complaining from me. Own it. I'm tired and it is indeed a personality trait at this season in my life. I will try to be the best Mom I can be anyway. I owe these little dudes that much.

-Ash

Keatonisms for the week

Happy Keatonism Tuesday!
*****

Keaton, to me: "Even if you cry and are mean, you still look pretty."

"I love you every day and every weekend."

Watching the weather. "Saturday there's snow. Seven piles of snow."

"I'm gonna have ham and cheese with bread on top and on bottom, and cheese and ham in the middle. With a slice of cheese." (Longest description of a ham and cheese sandwich I've ever heard.)

"Chocolate makes you go crazy." (Not me, I can handle it. He thinks it makes people go crazy in general.)

He heard me say the line and decided to repeat what he thought I said..."What did you talk about, Willis?" Lol

Me: "All we can do is try, right?"
K: "Yeah. Like a pinto bean."

"Nik just picked my nose. Is that okay?"

"If I see me doing something I'm not supposed to, I'll tell you." (I get the feeling this stage won't last very long.)

Talking about the dryer ruining his shirt. "It was the dryer's fault. But the dryer can't say I'm sorry, because it doesn't have a mouth."

K: "Who wrote this song?"
Me: "Billy Joel."
K: "Oh, maybe it was written by the guys that wrote Shufflin [Party Rock Anthem]. They were around when I was a kid."

Me again, without Keatonisms!

So it wasn't really a New Year's resolution to start blogging again, but it is working out that way so far. While I figure I'll be updating with Keatonisms more regularly, I also know that my need to write has gotten overlooked, and I need that outlet again. I tend to let everything sit inside me until I become overwhelmed and anxious. It's not a good way to be. Here's what's been up lately.

Ideally, Christmas 2013 would have gone like this: Open our gifts from Santa, pack up the van, head to Kansas. Instead, Keaton got pneumonia the Monday before.  The poor kid was hacking and coughing, with a low grade fever most of the day (coupled with nightmares every night). We decided to try heading to Kansas on Thursday instead. We set up a tent for him with a humidifier and let him watch movies and play, hoping to help with the cough, but also keep him separated from his brothers. That didn't work. Nik started getting a bad, deep cough on Christmas evening. I worried myself silly, knowing he was getting pneumonia, thinking about his little preemie lungs and what might happen to him. I found myself on the phone with the pediatrician at 1:30 in the morning, terrified we would end up in the ER. Luckily we didn't.

Thursday we were cleared to go to Kansas, since Nik didn't have pneumonia, and Keaton was on antibiotics. I actually had reservations about it, but the pediatrician we saw encouraged us to "go, do!" so we went and did. We left Thursday afternoon and spent the night in Des Moines. We finally made it to Kansas Friday afternoon. That day, Rowan got the virus. We spent most of the time in Kansas either taking care of sick children, or making our family members sick. Seriously, I think we gave at least a little bit to just about everyone we saw. Not really what we wanted to hand out for Christmas this year. 

We are all finally over it (Casey came out unscathed, although I'm not sure how. Maybe it was because he was sick two weeks prior to our little virus... I dunno. I was thankful he was home to take care of all of us without having to take off work. It was work nonetheless.).

In other news, I'm sure there's a ton to catch up on with the boys. Keaton is growing up to be such a sweet, smart, considerate boy. He's slowly transitioning from the horrible 3s (or whatever you call those) and into this almost four year old smarty pants. I'll admit, sometimes his long list of questions gets to me after awhile, when it's rapid-fire style and wanting to know everything about anything that we are talking about, whether he should or not. But he's a very sensitive little guy, in the best way. He really cares. He's such an amazing big brother, and I will forever be thankful that we had a 3 year gap between the kids. He proves daily that he's going to be their protector, entertainer, and friend.

The twins change every day. Rowan has 6 teeth (maybe more, but he's a biter, so I tend not to stick my fingers in to search around. I've learned, over time. There's hope for me yet!). Rowan's hair is constantly having a party... I can't control it. I try to tame it, but it's not worth the effort these days. I want so badly to cut it, but everyone tells me it's "cute". My kids will not have mullets, so I suppose that will be the day I cut it or have someone else cut it. We'll see! Rowan can now say Hi, Hey, Mama, Dada (his absolute favorite word and person in the whole wide world!), Baba (for Big Brother, we think), and Yeah!!! (more like Yayayayayayaahhh!). And now... he crawls, as of Tuesday. Forward crawls, I should say. He was backward scooting for a few weeks now, and he loves to get stuck under the couch. He could back himself up and then sit up, which has proven to be entertaining and terrifying as he reaches for cords, cups, and decides to pull the baby gate over on himself. Luckily he wasn't hurt. He's going to be the go-getter, I think.

Nik, on the other hand, reminds me a lot of Keaton as a baby. He is content sitting where he is, analyzing his toys, looking at fine details, and having visible reactions to facial expressions. He's still the more animated of the two. And he still eats more than Rowan, yet is still smaller by almost half a pound. He is sweet and flirtatious. He's a bit of a Mama's boy, but I'm TOTALLY okay with that. He'd rather be held than try to pick himself up and crawl like Rowan does. He dives for me if I'm anywhere near him on the floor. He's a better sleeper than Rowan. He can now say Hi, Hey, Mama, Dada, More (just learned this yesterday!), Nana... I'm sure I'm forgetting something here. He is very conversational, and I am pretty sure he thinks we understand what he's saying. He makes funny inflections in his voice like he's trying to tell us something very important. He caught up with Rowan and has 6 teeth as well. He really likes to 'share', and will regularly give away his toys or food.

Both boys like to feed themselves, and can't get enough of the little cereal puffs and Cheerios. They are fun to watch. Nik, who never seems to be full, learned "more" yesterday when we were eating puffs and he kept trying to attack me to get some. I said, "Do you want more?" and he tried repeating it. I'm still surprised either of them talk at all, because Keaton talks so much! But it's going to be fun to hear the conversations between all of them in the near future. We are having a fun, chaotic time around here.

Casey and I are doing our best to stay afloat here with all these energetic boys. After the virus hit our house, the little guys still aren't sleeping so great and have been waking up coughing throughout the night. They also think they need their nighttime feeding again, which has made it tough to stop nursing because they are a bit unpredictable. I nursed them more while they were sick, and the pediatrician thinks that may be one reason they didn't get full-blown pneumonia (thank goodness, although I'm not entirely sure how that works... but I'm thankful either way). They will be ELEVEN months old in TEN days. That also means I've been nursing, with the exception of the time they were in the NICU, for almost eleven months. I am both proud of myself, and ready to stop. It's tough to do these days. I made it farther than I ever thought I would, but I think it's probably time to start weening them and getting them ready for regular milk. I know there will probably have to be a bit of a delay since they were preemies, but I'm anxious to hear what the pediatrician will say about it. They are only a tiny bit behind in eating solids, and prove to have a little bit of a food aversion to anything thicker than applesauce (with the exception of dry cereal, of course). I tried giving them stage 3 food and they both gag and choke. We'll get there.

So I'm sure I've missed a ton of things, and for that I am sorry. I hope to try and update this more often. I always say that, but I really mean it. I have a problem with forgetting things if they aren't staring me in the face (don't even ask me about laundry right now) so I'll do my best to start getting back into the habit of updating whenever life will allow... which is hopefully a bit more often.

Until next time,

Ash

Keatonisms, part 2

Since I'm apparently not sleeping tonight (Rowan awake at 11:40 to eat, Keaton rolled out of bed at midnight, Rowan and Nik wake up to eat at 1:30, Rowan wakes up crying of and on from 3-3:40, Nik wakes up from 4-4:15, Rowan wakes up at 4:20...this is getting ridiculous.) I might as well be productive and update the Keatonisms. Damn I'm tired.

*****
Showing Keaton a video of an elephant painting:
Me: "This is at the zoo in Topeka, where Nana and Papa and Grandma and Grandpa live."
K: "They don't live at a zoo..."

Watching the large truck scrape snow & ice at Wal-Mart: "Wow, that's really nice of them!"

K, to me, watching Casey come through the door. "Here comes your husband!"

Me: "Dude, you are full of questions."
K:"Mmmhmmm, that's what I do!"

Me, to Casey (thinking Keaton was out of earshot): "I missed a lot of Keatonisms."
Keaton, chiming in from the back seat: "Maybe I'm saying too many funny things too fast and you can't write them fast enough."
Yep, pretty much. And he officially knows what Keatonisms are. Oh boy.

"It's colder than our whole life!"

I don't tend to post things about when he goes to the bathroom, but this week I'll make an exception. "I'm going the biggest poo poo of all." "My cheeks got wet. The bottom cheeks." "It was humongous." LOL... 1) He often gives me some kind of play by play or asks me if I want to see it afterwards. Oh, the joys of boys and motherhood! Haha! 2) Where the heck did he learn the word humongous?!?

"Andy Envelopes" (Andy Avalos, Chicago meteorologist)

K: "Say goodnight, Rowan."
Rowan: "Bah."
K: "That means goodnight in Spanish."

*****

Keatonism Tuesday...first of 2014!

Here's part 1 of 2.
*****
Me, talking to Keaton about his new toy digital camera from Christmas: "Keaton, will you please stop taking pictures of Nikolaus?"
K: "I'm taking pictures of him because I think he's a beautiful boy."

Me, again about the camera: "Please let your camera take a nap."
"But there's purdy stuff out here that I wanna take pictures of!" (Dude, I totally get it!)

"So you wanna see my selfie?" (He started taking them on his own, I just told him the 'correct' term...haha!)

Me, to Casey: "Did you get the t-e-l-e-s-c-o-p-e?"
K: "Does that spell lunch?"

K, to me: "I just called you the wrong name!"
Me: "Why?"
K: "Because I'm so funny!" (Officially created a monster.)

"I wanna watch Spickle Me Two." (Despicable Me 2)

"People don't need to worry. People just need to worry about themselves."

Casey: "What things does Mommy worry about?" (Long list ensues. He are some highlights)
"She doesn't want the Earth to crack."
"If I don't brush my teeth and they fall out."
"If I break all my bones."

Smoothing Rowan's hair: "His hair is having a party."

"I have a really really really really really big bed. It won't break our house."

"Mmmm! The marshmallows taste airy."