Perspective.

I read an article recently about a Mom who, in a very brief synopsis, decided to stop complaining about the daily struggles being a stay-at-home-Mom, and just own it. Own it. That's a thing. And I don't do it very often.

Here's the real deal. It bugs me when people call me Super Mom. Let's be clear- I didn't babysit much as a kid. I was an only child. I didn't grow up nurturing or having this idea in my head that I wanted to be a SAHM someday. But I am one. It's been both a privilege, and a struggle. Because really, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing. I have a better freaking clue than I did four years ago, but the twins are throwing me for a loop. And while I'm okay with that, I know that I would be a better version of myself right now if I got a full night's rest. I long for the patience I could have if I weren't so darn tired all the time. I have not and will not ever claim to be Super Mom. I did not receive any cape in the mail.

The article basically listed a bunch of things this mother knew in advance, and how she needed to just realize that this is her situation, and stop complaining about it. She did let on (which made me grin at the time) that she did not anticipate getting as little sleep as she has. Yes!! I'm not alone!! Even mothers who know what they are getting into still bitch about lack of sleep! Score a freebie for me. Because if there's something I complain about each and every day, it's how tired I am. Keaton looks at me every morning now and asks, "Mommy, are you tired? Did my brothers not let you sleep last night?" to which I always reply, "Yep, buddy. Mommy's always tired."

So maybe I need to put this in perspective. Is this why people say the first few years of a child's life are blurry when you look back? Because you get such jacked up sleep that normal thoughts and comprehension go out the window for awhile? I can think about where we were a year ago, and how much has changed. Everything has, in one way or another. I can conclude that my kids will in fact sleep someday. Someday they'll probably have to be dragged from their beds. Someday, when they are teenagers... which will be another issue altogether!

It's not the end of the world, by any means. I doubt Keaton will grow up and remember this part...the grumpy Mommy who lived off 4 hours of broken sleep and worshiped her Keurig every morning. I look forward to times ahead where I lay the babies down at night and I don't see the clock every 1-2 hours afterward. Where I don't pray every day at nap time that the twins will actually sleep at the same time and I'll get even a 15 minute nap. It's coming. Right?

Enough complaining from me. Own it. I'm tired and it is indeed a personality trait at this season in my life. I will try to be the best Mom I can be anyway. I owe these little dudes that much.

-Ash