Ahhhhh Kansas!

I'm venting. You have been warned.

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When I was a sophomore in high school, one of my best friends came out to me. She was the first person to ever do this, and we had been through such hard times together in middle school- depression over relationships, friendships, etc., that I went from surprised to instantly happy for her. I could see that for the first time, she was truly happy. She was being true to herself. And what more could someone want for their friend? It's like when she said the words to me, it all clicked and made sense. This is someone who would not "choose" to be gay, only to have problems with family and friends who didn't like her "decision". When she came out, it proved to me that being gay wasn't a choice. It was very hard for her to tell people that she was a lesbian. But really, I could see the freedom in her to be who she really was. And while life has taken us separate ways, I still think of her and am so happy she was able to find happiness in her life. She is a wonderful person with a caring heart, and is someone who taught me more lessons about life than I even realized, until I think of the things she has to deal with now living in our home state of Kansas.

So when the state does things like try to pass a bill that would deny service to same-sex couples, I think of her. I think of how much she doesn't deserve that. No one deserves discrimination, but sadly, it is everywhere. I am just sad that the government in Kansas is so backwards that a bill like this can be passed. It makes me think about a lot of things.

My generation needs to get out and be more active in state government. Not me... I'm not geared that way. But I have plenty of friends that are. I really feel like people get too wrapped up in the religious side of the issue. Love thy neighbor, right? Unless your neighbor is gay. Then, forget it.

What if you found out your parent is gay? Sister, brother, uncle? It happens. I have several friends whose parents have come out after decades of marriage. Do you think those people just woke up one day and decided, "Hey, I think I'll just choose to be gay now. Sorry, kids. Mommy likes girls." Not so much. There is a lot of stress and drama that would accompany such a "decision". Everyone looks for answers. "It's a chemical imbalance." "It's because of sexual abuse." I am going to call BS on all of those. Why does there need to be blame? Let people be who they are.

Why do we need to have labels? I have been labeled all my life. Short, pale, too skinny, my teeth are too big, I have "bullet-proof" hair (whatever that meant- thanks, kid at summer camp), I talk too much, etc, etc, etc. It got to me. I lost sleep over it. I was depressed over it. Middle school was HELL. But you know what? I found people that ACCEPTED me. These people liked me for who I was. And the majority of those people are still my best friends today. Too many young people give up before that happens. I think there need to be more advocates in schools to counter the bullying that happens every single day to people who are "different". But isn't the passing of this law basically allowing the "bullies" to win? Can the same people who discriminate against same-sex couples and deny them service also ask your religion at the door and refuse to serve you if your religions aren't the same? Nope, because they'd get sued. Is religion a choice? Last time I checked it was. Two different things. Maybe we should stop lumping them together.

I don't claim to know a lot about politics. I don't like to get into debates and I really don't like reading about government as a whole. I usually shy away from talking about political issues like this, but they've made it one, and it's made me angry. I would love to move back to Kansas to be closer to our family, but right now it's so backwards that I'd be afraid to 1) give money to a state that makes decisions like this, 2) raise my kids in an environment that would, more often than not, have funding cut from their schools or special interests, and 3) be subjected to the political leaders that were somehow elected and are making decisions that go against what most of my generation claims to believe... if so, are we voting?? How are these people getting elected?

I think I'm done ranting, for now. This just makes my head want to explode.

-Ashley