September Keatonisms

It appears that I completely lied when I said I would try to continue with weekly updates... because although I thought about it every week, something would ultimately come up and it wouldn't happen. Is anyone still out there? I have a ton of Keatonisms to catch up on after a whole month.

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I bought the Essential Michael Jackson CD collection, and we were listening to it in the minivan (judge me if you want!). Keaton likes the songs where MJ was in the Jackson 5 best, but always says "I want some little Michael Jackson." Lol... Also while listening to the CDs:
K: "Mommy, what's this song called?
Me: "It's called Bad."
K: "I don't want to listen to bad things."

Keaton asked where his fish Happy was. I panicked, thinking the fish had died. Then Keaton saw him swimming and said, "Oh, there he is! Earlier he was unavailable."

Macchiato, atmosphere, and crescendo are all words he said randomly to me yesterday. I guess I'll thank Little Einsteins for that one.

Discussing Casey's birthday:
Me: "Daddy will be 33 on Monday." K: "How old will he be on Thursday?"

K: "Why did you shake your hands?"
Me: "To get the excess water off of them."
K: "I did too, Mommy! To get the X X water off my hands."

"They give you the constructions." (instructions)

"What's an apple-tizer?"

"Mommy, I wish that I could reach the moon so I could show it to you."

Leah Remini called Ellen Degeneres a bitch. I was afraid Keaton was going to repeat it. He said, "Why did she call Ellen a fish?" Ohhhh thank goodness...lol

Casey, to Keaton: "Do I smell like cologne?
K: "No, you smell like a turkey." Me: "Haha, Happy birthday, Daddy!"
K: "Yeah, happy birthday, turkey!"

"Mommy, call 866 for Velcro." (Feldco commercial)

"I'm jumping off the wall if I have dessert."

(I blew my noise.) "Mommy, I have to have ear phones, because your blow is really loud!"

"My oatmeal is not a meal."

"Me too, ninja girl."

Casey, talking about feeding the twins: "I'm gonna start them on peas."
Keaton: "Peas and carrots, carrots and peas! Book come out, please please please!" (Super Why)

"Rowan, you're funky."

"I'm going to be a Daddy soon!" (choked on my cereal)

"You look funny! You're funny, with your blue eyes." ?

Me: "You were not the best listener today."
Keaton: "But I'm the best kid!"

K, looking at a guy dancing around in a pig costume: "What does that pig have?"
Me: "A drink."
K: "Is he drinking Diet Coke?"
Me: "I dunno, maybe."
K: "Wow, that's a cool pig."

"Mommy, how do you do Pinterest?"

"Mommy, some day may we go to the desert?"

"Mommy, are you retired?"

At bedtime, I told him a story about dressing up in my Jayhawk costume in elementary school and going out to greet the Jayhawks at Forbes Field when they arrived home after a tournament. I told him they put me on TV, waving with a crowd of fans.
K: "How did you get home?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
K: "How did you get out of the TV?!" 

My Mom, to Keaton: "Grandma is old and forgetful."
Later that day, Keaton yells out: "Grandma's old and forgettable."

Me: "Keaton, how much driving have you done?"
K: "A little bit."
Me: "What did you drive?"
K: "A grass airplane. An airplane that cuts grass."
Me: "A lawnmower?"
K, full of enthusiasm and surprise: "Yes, a lawnmower!"

Casey sent this one to me:
Riding in the car along Rte 30:
Casey: "Keaton, what is that?"
K: "It's corn!"
C: "It's not very healthy corn."
K: "Maybe it's steak?"
... Enter conversation about where steak/hamburgers come from.

Keaton was talking to my Mom and I about a boy from school that he is not friends with anymore. My Mom asked him why they weren't friends. K: "He decided to have a conversation with me about rollercoasters and witches."

"Mommy, my brain hurts."

"Grandma gave me a breath vitamin." (Tic Tac)

"Goodbye Mommy. You're going to India to see your cheese faucet." (No freaking idea, guys.)

To my Dad: "Funny Grandpa-ologist."

K, coloring on his menu at breakfast. "Mommy, where's the green crayon?"
Me: "I dunno."
My Mom: "Maybe the waiter ate it."
K, yelling to the waiter: "You didn't eat it, right sir?"

"People that wear orange shirts get hungry a little bit, that's why they eat lollipops."

I was sitting next to Keaton at the movie theater yesterday, and he was being so still and quiet that I got concerned about him.
Me: "Are you okay?"
K, remembering the theater rules of no talking, "Be quiet, Mommy!"

K, to me, as I was nursing Rowan (sorry if TMI!): "Does Rowan bite you?"
Me: "Yep. He has two little teeth, and they hurt sometimes!"
K: "Then don't feed him."
 
 Hopefully I'll get to update again before October is over!

-Ash