Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Mommyhood, Day 5

This is attempt #2 at blogging since Keaton arrived... let's see if I can make it through without having to stop and feed him! He is currently laying on my chest, asleep. :) I love these moments because he's actually not screaming and hungry right now... I bet I will jinx myself!

So Keaton has been around for 5 days now, and those days have been a blur to me. Warning, I am going to talk about breastfeeding now, so if that's too much info, you have been warned!! Skip the next few paragraphs if you're not interested and just want to read about Keaton. :)

Breastfeeding has by FAR been the hardest part so far. Keaton has had a hard time latching on, and we had to start supplementing my milk at first because he would either scream his head off and not latch on, or he'd latch on and fall asleep almost instantly. People don't talk about this sort of thing, but breastfeeding, while a natural occurrence, is anything but natural to get used to. You have to feed the baby at least every 2-3 hours. Your milk doesn't normally come in for at least a few days at first, and you have to basically train the baby to latch on, which is tough because you can't really 'train' yourself before the baby arrives. Granted, if I were wiser, I would have taken a class beforehand so I knew what to expect. Since I didn't, I went into the situation with a lot of questions. But so many people only preach at you about how 'breast is best' and that supplementation is something you should try to avoid so there isn't any nipple confusion. Did you know that a pacifier can greatly increase the chance that you'll have a hard time breastfeeding? Wish I would have known that before registering! People avoid talking about this sort of thing, because you never want to hear the down sides of motherhood. The truth of the matter is, it's easy to feel like a milk factory when you are either pumping, feeding, or both, pretty much all the time. Top that off with the fact that your body is recovering from birth, and your milk hasn't come in yet. At first, it is one of the most overwhelming experiences you could have as a mom. You just want to provide for you child, but due to a combination of things, sometimes that just doesn't happen.

Breast milk is something that is so sacred to me right now (pumping enough for reserves, etc) I swear to God I will cry if I pump any and it spills. Every drop matters!! That will be one time that crying over spilled milk is acceptable, I would think! Luckily my milk has definitely come in now... I feel like I have to pump all the time just to keep from getting engorged and being in serious pain. That's another thing... breastfeeding HURTS!!!!

I will not go into more detail about the specifics of what I've had to do, but I will say that every time I've met with a lactation consultant, I have felt MUCH more confident that this will happen in time. To the expectant moms out there who plan to breastfeed, I can only tell you that yes, it is very difficult, and you will probably have moments where you cry because things aren't working the way you thought they would... but just try, and keep trying, and hopefully everything will pay off in the end. And really, if you end up having to formula feed, that does NOT make you a terrible parent!! Don't listen to all the militant folks out there that look down on such things. There are a lot of people in the world who were raised on formula for one reason or another, and they turn out JUST FINE!! That said, we're still making efforts toward breastfeeding, and I'm happy to say that today we've had NO FORMULA at all. Hooray! I have to count the little blessings.

Now for the Keaton part of the blog. This kid has got an Attitude already!! Not only that, but he's already moving his head around and pushing up frequently. He is one strong little boy! I know a lot of parents probably say the same about their babies, and I'm not trying to say that he's super advanced or anything, he's just a lot stronger than we had anticipated him being at this point. He will push me away sometimes, and scream bloody murder when we change a diaper or try to BF him (promise I will try to keep that reference to a minimum for the rest of the blog, for anyone who may be weirded out by the topic). We think they may have measured him incorrectly at the hospital, because yesterday at his first Peds appointment, he was already an inch longer! This does not sound like a trait my child should have!! LOL...

We've somewhat determined that I have contributed Keaton's hands, feet, and ears. Other than that, it's all Daddy! Keaton and Casey make the same faces, which is too funny to me... especially when Keaton will open his eyes and look around. Keaton also resembles a bird when he's angry and hungry- his face is bright red, and his little mouth opens as wide as possible and he puts his face up toward me like, "I want this now, dammit!!" LOL...

He makes the cutest noises when he sleeps! And he smells so good.. I often find myself putting my nose on his head just to breathe him in. Case and I gave him a bath yesterday, which was hilarious... I realized that I hadn't really seen his little butt yet, other than upside down while changing diapers, so when I went to take a peek, the kid passed gas- which is also another thing he does frequently- and a bit of poop flew out at Casey!! I laughed for a LONG time over that one. He's definitely doing fine in the potty department, too. The kid is fully functional!

Well, most of this feels pretty random now, much like my mushy brains have felt the past 5 days. I will try my best to utilize the blog so I can try and remember details as they happen, but my brain is fried. That's all for now... I will try to write again soon!!

Oh, and before I forget, I could NOT have made it through the last few days without Casey or my Mom. Both have been absolutely wonderful, helping me get through this first part and dealing with my pain, mood swings, occasional crying fits, etc. Stupid hormones!!!! It will all get better soon, though, and it's getting better every day. Thank goodness!!

Thankful Mommy,

Ashley

Copy & paste this link for pictures!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleyhetrick/sets/72157623454767406/detail/

A lot of these were stolen from Leslie or our friends who visited us @ the hospital. Hopefully I'll have more of our own up soon!

3 comments:

Chimpsea said...

I'm SO proud of you for sticking with the breastfeeding :) You can do it! I've heard from almost everyone who's done it that it's much harder than they thought it would be. It sounds like you're using the lactation consultants though which is so great! I have an emergency folder with the LC's info. for Jonathan to call when I'm in tears and the baby is in tears trying to feed. Keaton is a beautiful guy - keep up the good work!

@sweetbabboo said...

Just wanted to chime in and second what Chelsea (my SIL) said. You are really using your resources and you WILL be successful. The best advice I ever got about breastfeeding came from a complete stranger. She said, "Just do it until he's 6 weeks old. If by then, it's still too much, you'll know you tried." She was right. By 6 weeks, it was easier. We'd figured it out. Just having that date in my mind really helped me feel like we were working towards something.

It IS really hard, but you are a fantastic mom for giving it your all.

Keep it up!

-Abby

Ashley said...

Thanks to the both of you!! I appreciate your feedback and encouragement! :-D We have another appt this morning with the LC (who looks a lot like Phyllis from The Office, which entertains me...) so I'm excited to tell her Keaton has gone more than 24 hours- maybe even 36 now- without any formula!! Yay for little milestones!