So yesterday we were at MFM, slightly concerned about the condition of the placenta and if it's allowing enough nutrients for the boys. It would explain why they aren't growing at the rate they were before. But they could just be small. So there's that.
They watched the boys via ultrasound for 30 minutes, waiting for them to do the breathing reflex that most start around 32 weeks. They are only supposed to do it for about 30 seconds, but yesterday they didn't do it really at all, or only for a few seconds, so Dr. Moran thought it would be best to send me to Labor & Delivery for an NST and round of steroid shots. If they cooperated, I would be released. They got on the monitors, and actually did what they were supposed to. Besides the fact that I had to don the lovely hospital gown and get a very painful shot in my ass, they complied and I got to come home, with orders to come back today for another biophysical scan and then trip to L&D for the second and last steroid shot.
I got about 3 total hours of sleep last night. I just couldn't do it. So my demeanor today has been...grumpy. I should come with a warning label. Anyway, that felt worth saying. So Grandma stayed with Keaton at home and Dad took me to MFM. Casey met us there. The boys were being a bit more quiet than normal since after breakfast, but they were noticeably less active on the ultrasound. We buzzed them. I drank cold water. I ate cookies. I got up walked, emptied my bladder, and physically poked them, changed positions, etc...nothing worked. They were breathing fine (still not doing the breathing reflex yet, though) but not moving much. Dr. Taylor said that while it was really sort of non scientific to do the reflex test right now because they are still young for it, they still wanted to admit me and make sure things were okay, again, allowing me to leave if they passed the NST. The difference this time, though, was that he said if they continue to be more quiet the next few days (they are ornery and move all the time, remember?) then we were going to possibly induce as early as this weekend. (Say WHAT?) He said that it's safer for them to be out at that and they'll be able to be fed and grow without worries about their environment inside. He also said "we have won". He reassured us that we are in a very good place from this point forward, because they have less than a 1% chance of having problems, especially long-term. Reassuring and terrifying. I could have these babies any time, and while we knew that, it's for real now. I was in a real delivery room today. Sorry, but holy shit. This it's real, and it's going to happen, and SOON. SO...there's that.
In other news, Keaton has been 110% screaming, argumentative, tantrum-throwing two year old this week. Yelling, throwing things, hitting, kicking,saying the opposite of anything he's told, running away from us, you name it. I hope this is his last hurrah before his birthday Tuesday. I hope age three for him is as great as my parents say it was for me. There is probably just too much change for him and it's all catching up.
But it's about to get worse. We found a family that wants to take Riese...possibly this weekend. We thought that might happen, but we thought family would be here and there would be nice distraction for Keaton, but poor Nana De got sick and Mitch had to work, so the Hetrick family isn't able to come up this weekend for a family birthday party. We are doing an impromptu party Sunday afternoon with a few friends that could make it at the last minute. I am thankful Keaton is young enough that most of this will go on and he won't know the difference. But I can't help but feel badly for him, and between all of it I'm not sure how much he can understand or handle right now. Throw on top of that the fact that I just want the boys to be active and stay in until next week, but at any time something could happen. Not sure how much of this I can handle ...something has to give, right?
Argh. I'm sad that there are so many questions and not many answers. Makes planning difficult. Makes everything kind of crazy and chaotic and nerve-wracking. I'm afraid to make plans at this point, for anything. BUT...we have to be near the end of something. It will not always go this way. It will be a new type of chaos soon. And that's what I want... I want them to be out, healthy, and be able to see them instead of waiting to feel them and wonder if is enough. I want to be able to move again. I want some normalcy for my family. All of them. I'm not totally giving up here, but I'm ready for change!!! Argh!!!
Is anyone still reading this?
Time for me to stop. Hopefully time for sleep. Now I can say 33+5.
Better luck tomorrow!!
Ash
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