I'm not going to lie, last night was rough. It almost seems like Keaton has bad days/nights about every 2-3 days now. He hasn't latched for 2 days now, and last night I fed him for over an hour and he was still hungry. I fed him right before my cousin Russ came by to visit, and then before he had even been at our place for an hour, Keaton was hungry again. I fed him again from 10:45 pm off and on until 12:30. He would act like he was full, so I would clean him up, burp him, and attempt to get him to go to bed, then he'd start crying again. The worst part last night was that he would be sound asleep in my lap out on the couch, so I'd start to walk back to the bedroom with him and his eyes would pop open and he'd start screaming and rooting again. I tried everything near the end, but nothing worked. At one point, I just started crying, and we cried together for awhile. I just felt so helpless. Sometimes I just look at him and really have no idea what I'm doing. But he eventually settled down (after we accidentally woke Casey up because I attempted to put him back in his bassinet) and I ended up falling asleep with him on my chest out on the couch until 2 am. He slept until 4:45 am when Casey got up to feed him.
He slept this morning until 7:45 am. Luckily it was a quiet feeding and he didn't really cry much at all, which was a big step up from last night. We got a decent nap again this morning for a few hours. He just ate again, and now I'm attempting to eat some lunch. I still feel pretty tired after everything last night. I would like to get something done around the house today, so hopefully I'll get some energy after eating. He's laying in the travel crib next to me while I type this, and every minute or so he'll knock the binky out of his mouth and then start crying. I've actually watched him push it out with his hand, and then get mad because it wasn't in his mouth anymore. Is he playing a game with me?? Probably not because I'm sure his hand/eye coordination hasn't come into play yet, but sometimes I wonder. Maybe I'm just lucky during the times he holds his binky in because he accidentally has his hand in front of it instead of behind it. Who knows... sometimes I think I understand the kid, and then after nights like last night, I feel completely ignorant.
I know things won't always be like this (I know I've written that before, too) so I try to keep it in perspective. There are just low points where I wonder if I can do this. I know I can, I just hate those moments where I have absolutely no clue what to do. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster- this weekend I was at the top of the hill, and last night we hit the bottom of it. Hopefully today will be a better day.
-Ashley
1 comment:
I just wrote a message on fb too, but glad to hear you're going through the same thing. Well i'm not glad, but at least we know its not just ourselves. Its so hard! We seem to have bad nights every other night...so I know what you mean. Its like if you do the same thing, it doesnt matter, they react differently, each day/night. Too bad we cant go to one place when all of us are going through that "can we do this" state. Seriously. I obviously dont have words of wisdom cause I'm going through the same thing, so all I can say, is, you're right, it wont always be like this, so for now...lets hang in there, together! Its hard, but I'm sure we're doing something right with everything we do!
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