Flippin' Out

I am pretty sure I had a dream a little bit ago about the baby rolling around and actually flipping to the 'head up' position. Then when I woke up, the baby started rolling around A LOT. This has me a bit paranoid this morning. More and more this week I have heard stories about breech babies and c-sections, and for some reason it's getting stuck in my head now that it could happen to me. I really don't want to have a c-section!! Mainly because I want to be able to see the baby right when it comes out, and be able to hold it right away. (Our hospital really believes in skin-to-skin contact immediately after the baby is born, and this would delay that.) I also don't like the recovery time, pain, and all that seems to come after the surgery. I am really trying to bank on the fact that my mom didn't have to have one, and I am bigger than her all the way around. But if the baby flips, I will have no choice. I am just hoping the fact that there's not much room left in my stomach will convince the kid that it does not want to do anything but roll side to side. And I am also going to stop having A Baby Story on in the background while I do things in the house. I am no longer allowed to watch that show... at least until after the baby is born. There are too many scenarios that happen on that show and I'm going to screw myself up mentally if I put myself in the place of the women on there, which is something I tend to do. Ahhhh!!

As the time draws closer, I really do find myself freaking out a bit about labor. I know I shouldn't because it won't really help me at all, but quite a few women I know are getting close to their due date- some have had false alarms already- and reality is setting in quickly. A classmate from elementary school is due next week, and last week she started showing signs of going into labor. All of the symptoms she's having are the signs we learned in class that indicated the baby would come within about 24 hours normally, but her labor is not progressing. She's frustrated (I would be, too!) especially when doctors are telling her it could be up to 3 weeks before anything actually happens. It would be nice if there was a way to know if this was 'it' or not when events like that happen! Again, I'm not exactly a Type A personality, but the uncertainty of this whole thing is starting to get to me. Let's throw in the fact that I will have 5 weeks as of tomorrow, but could potentially have 7 weeks if the kid decides to hang out in there a bit longer. I don't know how I'm going to do 7 potential weeks of this.

Maybe it's the crazy dream. Maybe it's lack of sleep. Maybe it's being cooped up in the house and I'm starting to lose it. Either way, as I write this entry this morning, I can't help but be nervous and paranoid, and can't talk myself out of it right now. I know it's not going to be this way for the next 5-7 weeks, but sometimes it feels like it's not going to go away. Throw on top of that the fact that my last appointment didn't go the way I thought it would... I'm convincing myself that something's wrong. I know it's better to stay positive, though... the power of positive thinking is a great thing. But I was born with this ability to worry about EVERYTHING (Mom, I know you're reading this right now... guess who blessed me with that trait? ;) Love you!) and right now, everything is what I'm worried about. Soooo... with that said... I don't think I am going to sleep too much more this morning.

On a little bit brighter note, I took the initiative last night and actually put the baby swing together, virtually by myself. I would like to say to anyone reading this that yes, I do live with an engineer who would be more than able and willing to put the swing together, but I did it on my own. Okay, he helped me with two pieces that were really hard to fit together. Other than that, all me. There's no doubt in my mind that Case would have done it quicker and had an easier time than I did assembling it, but it was my decision to do it... I don't want to emasculate him! See picture... I am pretty proud of my work. :)


-Ash